[Racheli Reckles tries to convince her husband to tell her some gossip he heard.]

I saw that verbal insistence wasn't working- so I tried a different, more Iraqi approach. "I'm going to beat you up if you don't tell me!" And the punches began...
As my knuckles started swelling from my repeated futile attempts to hurt/intimidate him, he was getting increasingly annoyed with me. Finally, he gave in. He revealed the secret that he had been holding in for almost 10 years about a certain person.

"That's IT?!!" I exclaimed, totally let down by his boring revelation. Now I was the one who was annoyed, especially since my knuckles started throbbing.

[...]

As I held the baby in one arm and hungrily ate my cereal, I was going over the list of what I still needed to get done for our move. I guess I must have started daydreaming, because I stopped paying attention to what I was doing.

All of a sudden, YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!”

[...]

I stumbled over to the counter to fumble for a napkin, still trying not to pass out (while still holding the baby!) I started whimpering to myself as I blotted the unusually large amount of blood that was oozing out of my tongue.

I noticed that my darling husband was not around to console me. He was probably laughing from behind the corner. As I dabbed my tongue, my annoyance with the situation began to build and build.

[...]

At that point, my husband decided to see what was going on. Thanks for your concern, honey.

"What happened?" he innocently asked, trying to get away with not having checked up on me when I screamed bloody murder.

"Hashem has a great sense of humor," I answered. "He gave me a bloody tongue because I made you speak lashon hara!"