Though most of the time I refer to her as “my wife,” I sometimes introduce her to others as “my bride.” I married her just shy of her 18th birthday, so she is in fact the “bride of my youth.” It would be ridiculous to refer to her as my “bride” if she were in her twenties, or especially her thirties, when we married. She has been Godly, submissive, and has given me 4 children. She is MY bride, and no one else’s. In no way do I do it to pedestalize her. It is simply recognition of her obedience to God by being obedient and submissive to me, her husband. Just as we should be quick to shame women who have ridden the cock carousel before settling for a Beta, we should also be quick to give credit to those women who married young and take on the traditional role of a helpmeet. On the rare occasions that she acts up, she gets a stern “woman” from me, or “you ignorant slut” when she says something ridiculous. I call her all sorts of things, but most of those are reserved for the bedroom.

That being said, anyone who refers to their wife as “my best friend” should have his testicles removed from her purse and shoved through a meat grinder.