"It never hurts to pray"
Well, what if you were praying on your knees, and they got sore? That would hurt.
Better still, what if you were praying in a church, and the big crucifix with a bloody Jew on it fell down, missed you by a few centimetres, but, it hit the other side of the bench you were sitting on, and there was a sea-saw effect, and you went flying up into the air and through a big mosaic window.
You land in a lake outside, with glass fragments all through you, finally safe...
No! Wait! There are alligators and crocodiles and piranhas and sting rays in the lake too! Not only are they in there, but the lake is mostly acid due to acid rain, because you Christians don't believe in any of the strong effects you're having on the environment, you don't cut down on your selfish energy usage.
"Oh dear!" you yell (you're not allowed to swear, you're a Christian)
You try and swim to the edge of the lake to escape, but you can't swim! They didn't teach it in your fundie school as swimming involves taking ones conservative clothing off and donning these sexually explicate "bathing costumes" so it was banned.
A Christian hill-billy in a boat sees you and helps you into his boat, you thank him. He takes one look at you, face melting with glass all through you and a couple of chunks taken out of your body by the carnivorous sea creatures. "You look like one o' dem homosexuals" he says in a Western Slur, and shoots you. He assumes all homosexuals are strange melted acid creatures that are less than human (he's wrong, but you don't know that.)
Because he's a moron, he missed, he's about to take another shot, but a strange light beams down upon you. "At last!" you cry "The Rapture!"
No, it's Aliens.
They beam you up and poke and prod and violate in more ways than even I can imagine. They manage to impregnate you. You must keep the Alien baby as abortion is wrong - a life is a life after all. Not only that, but you are now married to the Alien that did it, you're not sure if they're male or female or some unknown gender.
They then laugh at your dim-witted belief in a sentient God with an illegitimate bastard son and put you back on Earth.
Unfortunately, they put you back on Earth right under a building where a rickety crane is lifting a really fat guy out of a window.
The crane snaps and the fat guy lands on you, squishing you into a pulp.
If that happened praying would hurt.
I know it sounds a bit far-fetched, but hey - you're used to believing ridiculous things - right?
