“Old fashioned cross dressing” was not OK, and not something we should go back to. When it was “behind closed doors”, wives were still being coerced. Nobody these days would say that hitting your wife is OK as long as you do it quietly and nobody else knows.

Every time you make an exception or a prevarication to show you’re “not transphobic” it’s trans widows and children of transitioners who pay the price.

You might as well say “they should have to put up with it so we don’t have to”.

Also I suspect, the myth of the benign part time domestic cross dresser, was put about by the Beaumont Society to gaslight and trap wives.

For the hard of thinking who are currently attracted to the top tweet here, it’s comparing fetishistic male cross dressing where the wife is forced to participate, as being coercive control on a par with physical abuse. Coercive control is a crime and this is a valid comparison