Put the carpet in the sun for at least 24 hours (at night put the lights on). Then wait for a full moon go outside at 12:00. Say : carpet carpet fly fly go to were i need to go SO MOTE IT BE! wait till the next day and fly it put the pin in the map/globe to were you wanna go in the world . To start your carpet up say fly to where i need to go so mote it be .
26 comments
These type of posts are always good as counters against "He said he saw a guys foot grow back, how can you deny that?" or " Look at all the Christian testimonials!" arguments.
"I like to dream yes, yes, right between my sound machine
Well, you don't know what we can find
Gotta admit, the hymns are much better in some fantasies and the spirit of Radio surpasses all religions.
Not fundie. Just stupid.
Norm
Put the carpet in the sun for at least 24 hours
This will be kind of hard if you don’t live beyond the Arctic or the Antarctic Circle
@Doubting Thomas:
Maybe the carpet is made from werewolf hair
?
If this doesn't work, you need to perform a purification ritual.
Find a small paper bag. Take the handset from your phone (or the whole phone if it's wireless) and put it inside. The phone contains your saliva from the past. Add a dirty sock. This contains your sweat from the past. Now walk ten paces out your front door, swing the bag around over your head, and scream like a chicken. Repeat for 5 minutes.*
Now you're ready to make your carpet fly. Purchase an airline ticket to your destination, and check in the carpet as part of your baggage.
* Credit: Morey Amsterdam, The Dick Van Dyke Show . Updated and embellished for the present situation.
I don't think the airline companies have anything to worry about.
And even Twilight Sparkle - a fairly powerful Magic-user herself* - relied upon a balloon/train to travel, prior to her ascension to Alicornhood.
*- Teleporting - particularly more than just herself - would be extremely energy-consuming, thus she does so for short distances only (and when absolutely necessary). And don't ask her about Temporal Spells...! [/Starlight Glimmer]
?midnightcyn
Sounds like that may be a Volkswagen diesel carpet you have...
Tried it, didn't work. I crashed into the light fitting, the top of the bookcase and the door, then did my back in trying to clear the mess up before my wife got home.
"Put the carpet in the sun for at least 24 hours (at night put the lights on)."
Do the lights have to be those that duplicate the sun's spectrum, or will any lights do? Does the wattage of the bulbs matter?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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