Quote# 65678

[ Describing an encounter with a Satanist called "The Queen of the Coast" before he became a Christian]

She took me to a corner of the barbeach, used something like a belt and tied around us and immediately a force came from behind and pushed us into the sea. We started flying on the surface of the water and straight to the ocean. Dear reader, these happened in my physical form ! At a point we sank into the sea bed and to my surprise I saw us walking along an express way. We moved into a city with a lot of people all very busy.

I saw laboratories, like science lab, designing lab, and a theatre. At the back of the city, I saw young beautiful girls and handsome young men. No old people. She introduced me to them and I was welcomed. She took me to places like “darkroom”, “drying room”, and “packing room”. She then took me to a main factory and warehouse and then came to her private mansion. There she sat me and told me : “I am the queen of the coast and would like very much to work with you. I promise to give you wealth and all that go with it, protection and all that go with it, life and an ‘angel’ to guide you.”

She pressed a button and a tray came out with human flesh (in pieces) in it and we ate together. She commanded a boa to appear and asked me to swallow it. I could not. She insisted but I could not, how could I swallow a live boa. She then used her powers and I swallowed it. These were three covenants : The human flesh and blood, the boa and the demonic angel were always there to make sure no secret was revealed.

But the ‘angel’ was given power to discipline me if I went astray and also to bring me food from the sea any time I was here on earth. I promised to obey her always. After this promise she took me to another part of the ocean, this time an island. There were trees and each of these trees had different duties :
- tree for poisoning,
- tree for killing,
- tree for invoking, and
- tree for cure.
She gave me powers to change to all kinds of sea animals like hippopotamus, boa constrictor and crocodile and then she vanished. I stayed in the sea for a week and through one of the means (as crocodile) mentioned above I came back to the world.

Emmanuel Amos, Insights of God 105 Comments [9/13/2009 4:15:35 AM]
Fundie Index: 153
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I read about the afterlife

Now listen kids, just because Dr. Hunter S. Thompson could handle about 20 hits of acid doesn't mean we all can.

9/13/2009 4:28:49 AM

Tearlich

"...to change to all kinds of sea animals like hippopotamus, boa constrictor and crocodile..." Lying for Jebus AND biology fail.

9/13/2009 4:32:59 AM

Callahan

Under the sea... *whistles*

9/13/2009 4:38:25 AM



WAT
Is this some kind of bad fiction writer's board?

9/13/2009 4:40:10 AM

shykid


9/13/2009 4:59:43 AM

RavenWood

Whoa... Please take your medication!

9/13/2009 5:06:06 AM

Palifox

This bloke read too much about Cthulhu when he was 14. Perhaps he is still 14, judging by the writing.

9/13/2009 5:06:14 AM

Eden

So what is this?
Your attempt at a bad horror story, or the description of a bad dream you had. Or both?

9/13/2009 5:09:59 AM

the agitator

That wasn't a boa in your mouth... when you swallowed, was it a bit salty. Yeah... that wasn't the salt water you were tasting.

Sounds like a bad trip at a gay bar to me.

9/13/2009 5:14:11 AM

aaa

Dude, you tripping.

9/13/2009 5:18:58 AM

Clown

So much for his promise... Promise not to do drugs anymore that is.

9/13/2009 5:22:55 AM

Sanity

I'll have two pounds of whatever he's smoking.

9/13/2009 5:41:49 AM

Xotan

Ahem. You need help. Either for a compulsion to lie, or for being psychologically, er, out of balance... Do get that help.

9/13/2009 5:54:00 AM

Dark_Lord_Prime

"...and the demonic angel were always there to make sure no secret was revealed."

And yet, here you are, revealing all the secrets.

Also, hippos, boas and crocs are not "sea animals."

You moron.

9/13/2009 5:58:10 AM

Beam Me Up Scotty

Man, I just did this quest chain in World of Warcraft. It was awesome. Did you have to wear the helm of delusion the whole time too? That was such a pain. What level are you?

9/13/2009 6:01:23 AM

Nathan the Wise

Was there an octopus' garden, in the shade?

9/13/2009 6:09:34 AM

Burning Stake

Well, I went to the official site this quote comes from, and this is his/their mission statement:

"Jesus is alive and still speaks to people today just as He did when he was with His disciples on the earth. In this site, you will hear and read experiences that people have with Jesus, Hell, or God's eternal kingdom in heaven; whether by vision, dream, or spiritual visitation." (emphasis mine)

So, that means, what? If I'm having a lucid dream and I'm flying, naked, that's just a dream but if I'm flying naked and Jesus appears, that qualifies as a vision/dream? Interesting.

9/13/2009 6:16:31 AM

Horsefeathers

Well if that isn't one of the most bizarre things I've had the misfortune of reading...

9/13/2009 6:26:34 AM

GodotIsWaiting4U

Psychoactive drugs are not required to have a good time.

Hippos are river mammals, not marine.

9/13/2009 6:29:36 AM

Thundersqueaks

Was the city called Rapture?

9/13/2009 6:35:15 AM

Doubting Thomas

WTF??? Where do these Christians come up with these Revelation-esque whacked-out drug trips, and why do they expect us to believe they really happened?

BTW, neither the hippopotamus, boa constrictor, or crocodile are sea animals.

9/13/2009 7:12:01 AM

Shann

Did you learn nothing from Woodstock? Next time don't take the brown acid.

9/13/2009 7:16:32 AM

BobsOldSocks

Not fundie. Just, sadly, mentally ill.

9/13/2009 7:24:14 AM

E. Amos

...And the next day I gave up the crack and was born again!

9/13/2009 7:31:42 AM

John_in_Oz

I've mentioned this previously, but it's still true.
I had a full-on spiritual vision in which Jesus appeared to me. Accompanied by all the spiritual trimmings. My name called three times, a sense of impending significance, the direct experience of the numinous, and the appearance of Christ. I'd be out there testifying to his existence of my direct knowledge, if it weren't for the fact tat he asked to have gay sex with me.
Now I accept that that wasn't a true vision from God. Either it was a delusion sent by the devil, or it was a delusion due to a brain fart. Still- it was genuine according to all the Biblical tests. So whether it was Jesus wanting gay sex or Yahweh wanting Abraham's son's life, or your drivel, you have no way of knowing if it's from a brain fart or Satan.
You know it's not from God, because God wouldn't lie to you about boa constrictors or hippopotamuses being sea animals.

9/13/2009 7:33:54 AM

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