OP has seemingly no concept or understanding of oppressive systems and how they work. The very worst that can come of what OP is complaining about is cis men getting their feelings hurt. Not a big deal. If an individual is a member of an oppressive class, then they are an oppressor. Personal convictions are not sufficient enough to undo kyriarchal socialization alone.

Oppressors are responsible for the harm of their own ignorance, they are personally and individually accountable for damaging (and ending) the lives of the oppressed. The onus is on them, not the oppressed, to educate and inform themselves so they aren't harming others. To claim otherwise absolves them of all responsibility for their harm. Nowhere in history where minorities have made gains and leaps, did it come about from babying their oppressors.