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As usual Jewish Philosopher is wrong on all counts. He also missed illicit drugs but he'd be wrong there too.
7/22/2012 12:34:27 PM
So, He's a Christian in other words?
7/22/2012 12:55:41 PM
Blue the Thief
WTF am I reading?
Ah, that explains it.
7/22/2012 1:25:45 PM
Huh lets see. The proto-fiancee is pantheist, that's close enough I guess...
I'm not average looking, and we're monogamous. No rashes.
He barely drinks. No hangover from one beer a month.
No problems functioning. I check frequently :3
He won't even take a tylenol unless he's utterly miserable. Maybe once every two months.
Being paid well at the job he's held 5+ years. Promotions incoming.
Has friends and me. We're constantly doing something with our friends.
You're 0/8, Mr so-called Philosopher.
7/22/2012 1:35:47 PM
Yes, but what is she doing?
Everyone knows that Christians never smoke, have sex, drink, masturbate, take medication, end up penniless or alone, or have suicidal thoughts...
On a side note, Jesus drank was poor and spent about a month alone. Who knew that he was such a fun guy?
7/22/2012 2:27:24 PM
Say it with me:
7/22/2012 2:30:59 PM
So I'm an oversexed drunk with a few STD's. That doesn't make me a bad person.
7/22/2012 3:41:39 PM
Jewish Philosopher, when are you going to stop telling us about your personal life and give us some philosophy? Eh? And by the way, don't worry about that rash, I'm pretty sure there's a treatment for it. Maybe. Of course, you could just use condoms, you know.
7/22/2012 3:47:43 PM
Hey, JP, you'll go to Hell for lying. You know that, right? ... Your god, the OT Jewish god, will have no problems at all with giving you a disproportionate punishment for eternity just for lying.
Such a smack he'll give you, oy!
7/22/2012 4:08:52 PM
7/22/2012 6:08:48 PM
"Atheists love fun!"
yes. yes they do.. but im a pagan and we Love fun! I shall Acquire my yo-yo, hammer and other objects of FUN!
"He's having fun - smoking and stinking of tobacco."
I do not smoke. if Eris intended me to smoke she would've set me on fire.
"He's having fun - having sex with various average looking women and then wondering what that rash he keeps getting is and why it burns when he urinates."
I have sex yes but i always use protection. im STD free
"He's having fun - drinking all night and waking up in mid-day depressed and with a splitting headache."
I only drink after i go the the Symphony and i always have one shot of whiskey when i get home.
"He's having fun - masturbating while using the Internet to the point where he is having difficulty ever functioning sexually at all."
I usually masturbate but it never diminished my sexual function.
"He's having fun - taking more and more prescription pain pills, which make him more and more sick, to try and fight off his depression."
I do not take pain pills, im rarely sick, and im never depressed..
"He's having fun - being poor because he can't hold a job."
I can hold a job im just having a hard time getting one due to the economy being screwed up.
"He's having fun - being alone, because he's so selfish no one wants to be around him."
I prefer to be alone, im rarely selfish, some people like to be around me.
"He's having so much fun that he wishes he were dead."
nope try again.
7/22/2012 6:43:19 PM
Raised by Horses
I've heard of troll physics, but troll philosophy..
7/22/2012 7:05:46 PM
I would bet that you do not know one atheist.
I would also add that I know now, and have known in the past, plenty of christians and jews who fit almost perfectly with your description.
7/23/2012 3:45:51 AM
God dammit this guy gets stupider by the day. In a few weeks he'll have forgotten how to chew solid food. With a bit of luck he'll also have forgotten how to construct noises into meaningful sounds.
7/23/2012 6:20:05 AM
1- Never smoked in my life. You FAIL.
2- One word: Condoms. You FAIL II.
3- I drink in moderation; I've got work to go to in the morning! You FAIL III.
4- Masturbating on a regular basis is medically proven to reduce prostate cancer in men by at least 80%. You FAIL IV.
5- Apart from the Ibuprofens/Paracetamols I take for the rare headache, no. My Aural
drug - Jean-Michel Jarre, Kraftwerk, Tangerine Dream - is infinitely superior to any illicit/pharmaceutical hallucinogen. You FAIL V.
6- I work at a computer shop, repairing, upgrading & building bespoke systems. It's not so much a job, more a hobby I get paid to do! You FAIL VI.
7- See 2: having sex with the hot lady in my life at least twice a week. You FAIL VII.
8- With my hobby/job, lady in my life, anime/manga collection, friends down the pub & watching Premiere League football, cycling, using my computer etc, instead of 'having fun' praying to a non-existent 'God' & just trolling all day, more like jewish FAILosopher wishes he
were dead. You FAIL VIII.
...oh, and as for this
I'm having fun eating bacon sarnies.
I'm having fun with my job/hobby on a Saturday.
I'm very attached to my foreskin, thanks.
Ergo, Atheism >>>>> inferior fundie
'beliefs'. Q.E. and D. bitch.
7/23/2012 9:13:32 AM
Alright, let's see…
I cannot stand the smell of smoke.
I don't have sex with any women, as I am a straight female. However, I have had sexual relations with one person with whom I am in a committed relationship.
I do have the occasional drink but hate the feeling of being even buzzed let alone drunk.
I don’t like porn.
I avoid taking any medication that I don’t absolutely need.
I am working towards eventually getting my masters so I can have a good job.
I enjoy alone time but have close friends for socialising and multi-person activities.
But you’re right; I like to have fun. I like learning new things and playing games and going for sushi. Oh yes, very frightening.
7/23/2012 10:34:26 AM
"He's having fun"
Amazing how there's no female atheists in existence...
7/23/2012 10:40:11 AM
I love that this one warps from 'thing people think is fun, here's why it's not' to 'He's having fun being poor and alone.'
I actually laughed when I got to that part.
7/23/2012 6:47:38 PM
If Jewish Philosopher is a philosopher, I'm an anglerfish.
7/23/2012 10:13:24 PM
Okay, no, I call bullshit on the porn thing. In fact, frequent masturbation increases staying power. So, fuck you.
7/23/2012 11:55:48 PM
Don't bother asking atheists. Just make something up and repeat it until the weak minded believe it.
7/24/2012 3:10:35 AM
And you're lying by making up a bunch of bullshit.
7/24/2012 4:00:31 AM
I could have sworn he was talking about Rush Limbaugh.
7/24/2012 8:57:46 AM
>Atheists love fun!
We sure do.
>He's having fun - smoking and stinking of tobacco.
Doesn't sound like fun paving your lungs.
>He's having fun - having sex with various average looking women and then wondering what that rash he keeps getting is and why it burns when he urinates.
Same women for almost 25 years but, hey, we are not married.
>He's having fun - drinking all night and waking up in mid-day depressed and with a splitting headache.
Learned my limit when I was a teenager.
>He's having fun - masturbating while using the Internet to the point where he is having difficulty ever functioning sexually at all.
That gets really boring fast. And as far as difficulty functioning, I can't imagine what that is like.
>He's having fun - taking more and more prescription pain pills, which make him more and more sick, to try and fight off his depression.
Never been depressed so I can't comment.
>He's having fun - being poor because he can't hold a job.
Managed a good living, even through an economic downturn. Hell, I even work in IT.
>He's having fun - being alone, because he's so selfish no one wants to be around him.
Lots of friends and I volunteer, maybe too much.
>He's having so much fun that he wishes he were dead.
I thought wanting to die was a Christian thing. After all, you get to spend an eternity kissing your god's ass. On the other hand, atheists know that it is over when you die.
7/24/2012 7:54:47 PM
Only thing I smoke are electronic cigarettes, and even then I only use the 0 nicotine.liquids, I only. Smoke them for the flavours, ok I also smoke them as an excuse to use long stem cigarette holders because I have an obsession with Breakfast at Tiffany's and Aubrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly
I'm in a long term relationship with my fiancé of over 7 years, however as he lives in England and I live in the States we have an agreement that we're both allowed to take advantage of 'friends with benifits' if we need to relieve some pressure and take the edge that comes with a long distance relationship, off although more often I just take matters into my own hands, so to speak
Thanks to a variety of alcohol allergy I can't drink, anything that has more than 0.5% ABV makes me violently ill, BUT I do have fun making and consuming replicas of popular cocktails that have no alcohol content, I make a damn tasty non-alcoholic martini
Ok this one you got me on, most of the time mutual masturbation with aid of video chat is about the only option my fiancé and I have together at the moment, although we have thrown out the possibility of teledildonics and simulations via virtual worlds like Second Life but really that's just the next level of the same thing. But no difficulty performing as of yet
7/24/2012 9:19:46 PM
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