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#1414959
Mayhem
"IT is in the constitution!"
There's a demonic clown played by Tim Curry in the Constitution?
6/20/2012 7:36:09 AM
#1414965
Berny
Another example of a brainwashed fundie fed a steady diet of lies and hogwash. His last sentence is a classic example of the historical revisionist nonsense these people teach their children.
6/20/2012 8:08:33 AM
#1414968
Pule Thamex
In the time of the Dark Sorcerer, about 6000 years ago, the world was made from malevolence and dark magic and around about it little points of twinkling fairy light were sprinkled to confound the world's newly conjured dust creatures.
All this is made known to us by the festering words in the bleak tome of the ancients, The Chronicles Of Hate. If only we would peruse its insane verses more assiduously. If only our educators would take their teaching of fantasy science more seriously.
Think of all those lost souls forever condemned to a life of truth and love. Think of all the wasted power that should have been wielded against the blissfully ignorant. Think of all the wasted money that should by rights be going to those staunch supporters of ignorance, those unwavering upholders of fantasy and delusion, the baleful purveyors of hate and intolerance.
We're doomed. We could all have had a wonderful future as slavering lunatics. Now it seems our fate is to go out in a blaze of reality.
6/20/2012 8:17:34 AM
#1414969
Flah
"Neither Creationism nor evolution has been proven, but look at what America WAS founded on. Christianity."
Even if this were true (it isn't, what a shock), it would have no bearing on whether or not the Theory of Evolution is correct. By that logic, schools in India should only be allowed to teach the Hindu version of the creation of the universe.
"Pray sometime, be sure to ask him to show his existence by answering that prayer and see what happens."
When I was younger, I decided to use the scientific method to do just that. I didn't receive an answer or a miracle or anything else. Though, for a while, there was a patch of dirt on my wall that looked exactly like King Charlemagne. But I think that was more a sign that I should clean more rather than that I should embrace either Christianity or herald the return of the Holy Roman Empire.
6/20/2012 8:23:33 AM
#1414975
fishtank
"people live their life by something never seen
dreaming all their life, of a place they've never been"
(Atheist, the band)
How can they *believe* something they have never seen?
6/20/2012 8:37:15 AM
#1414978
tiktaalik
"And at least Christianity and creationism teaches LOVE and RESPECT to our children..."
Loving someone out of fear that not loving them means you get brutally tortured isn't a healthy kind of love.
6/20/2012 8:42:10 AM
#1414980
anevilmeme
Poe
6/20/2012 8:47:02 AM
#1414981
John
It's hard not to think it's a Poe. It's almost a parody of the 10th grade drop-out fundamentalist moron's list of "arguments".
"The country was founded on Christianity - it's in the Constitution" - even though anyone who has actually read the Constitution knows there is no mention of Christianity or even God.
The old "if we evolved from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?" Even Ken Ham would cringe to hear creationists still dumb enough to use that argument. It's like saying "if I descended from Irish ancestors, why are there still Irish around?"
"And for all of those people who believe in the "big bang", if there was no life, then how did anyone/anything cause earth to just appear?" - That's what the Big Bang theory explains. If you think there's something wrong with the explanation, by all means let us know what it is. Point to the mathematical error or the astronomical observation that disproves it.
6/20/2012 8:49:12 AM
#1414985
Thinking Allowed
OK, my brain hurts now.
6/20/2012 8:58:39 AM
#1415001
Papabear
"...what was this country founded on? CHRISTIANITY!"
Strike one.
"IT is in the constitution!"
Strike two.
"There never used to be a "public school" or "christian school", the school was run by the church!"
Strike three. You're out.
6/20/2012 11:05:24 AM
#1415005
This has to be the most obvious poe on this entire site
6/20/2012 11:11:13 AM
#1415006
Ebon
It's like every cliche in use was packed into a tight roll of crazy.
6/20/2012 11:11:18 AM
#1415012
Table Rock
Fundie Cliche Density reached approaching critical mass. Poe Probability --> 99%.
6/20/2012 11:50:09 AM
#1415020
Old Viking
There's some heavy thinkin' going on here. Woops! I mean, There's some heavy thinkin' going on here!!!
6/20/2012 12:22:45 PM
#1415024
J. James
It's in the constitution, huh?
...Where?
It mentions god(s): 0 times
It mentions Jesus: 0 times
It mentions Christianity: 0 times
There is no matching text or quotes from any Christian schripture. The only time it mentions religion is to abolish it from government affairs.
So where, again, is Christianity in the Constitution?
6/20/2012 12:29:08 PM
#1415035
capello moderno
"How could anyone not believe something they've never seen?"
6/20/2012 1:45:50 PM
#1415046
checkmate
how could anyone be athiest ... and/or hate something they've never seen?
Why do the fundies always assume that atheists hate God?
I, for one, don't hate God. I also don't hate the Tooth Fairy, I don't hate pink unicorns, I don't hate Superman. Why should I?
I do, however, despise people forcing their favorite fantasy on me and shoving it down my throat.
6/20/2012 2:41:23 PM
#1415048
Pist
Wow...I'd like to say Poe.
I especially like that touch at the end about "But i'm not going to sit here and argue, considering i'd be arguing and getting nowhere because lost people simply don't like to cooperate. But you'll find out when you die,"
followed immediately by
"And at least Christianity and creationism teaches LOVE and RESPECT to our children, not HATE like ATHEISM!!!"
6/20/2012 2:46:05 PM
#1415050
You're right, except for everything you said.
6/20/2012 2:53:34 PM
#1415069
Osiris
#1. America was founded on liberty, not Christianity. The Founding Fathers were intelligent, educated men, many of them deists, but all were aware that no system or body of power quite excelled at tyranny and oppression than religion. That is why Thomas Jefferson argued that the Constitution should not be ratified until it had a Bill of Rights guaranteeing freedom of speech, the press, and religion.
#2. We didn't evolve from monkeys, we evolved from apes. And we are still apes. But another way to answer your question is, if America is descended from Britain, why are the British still around. It's like a part of that population split away and over time became a different population.
#3. Evolution HAS been proven. Kilmitzer vs Dover proved the veracity of evolution over intelligent design within the confines of the law. If a conservative Bush appointed federal judge declares that the evidence overwhelming favors evolution, than the evidence overwhelming favors evolution. But thank you for admitting creationism hasn't been proven. It's an falsifiable belief that has business being taught in churches never mind schools.
#4. Christianity teaches love to Christians and hate to everyone else. It's why your religion is so oppressive and has no business regulating anyone's personal life.
Good day.
6/20/2012 3:50:00 PM
#1415073
Alencon
Wow. Talk about ignorant, confused and frightened. I think we have a trifecta here.
6/20/2012 4:02:12 PM
#1415087
Brendan Rizzo
@ Pule Thamex:
You really ought to be a writer of dark fantasy. You have some good stuff here that could be put to use.
6/20/2012 6:11:36 PM
#1415115
phed
Wow. Compliments to this the OP. This is pretty much all the cliched creationist fallacies rolled into one compact post.
6/21/2012 1:13:13 AM
#1415286
"And how could anyone be athiest or not believe, and/or hate something they've never seen?"
How can you not believe something you've never seen...?
Don't you mean "How can you believe something you've never seen any evidence for?" because what you said means you have to believe everything, no matter what... including that evolution is correct and that Creationism is false.
6/21/2012 10:24:24 AM
#1415321
Anon
It might be better to go easy on this one, it's clearly written by a child.
6/21/2012 12:19:01 PM
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