1 2 3
#1410595
Osiris
Satirical news strikes again!
6/6/2012 11:10:12 AM
#1410604
Lucilius
Maybe the ancestors of The Onion's writers authored the Bible.
6/6/2012 11:26:10 AM
#1410609
Anon-e-moose
"We knew that eventually Liberals would get around to the "Final Solution" Who ever doubted what is in the hearts of especially the most dangerous terrorist in America - the Eco Terrorist? The worshipers of earth will don't find global warming as the real enemy - they find YOU and your CHILDREN as the scum that must be cleansed from the earth. Of course, they want to be the ones left to care for the earth. You? Turned to ashes if necessary. That's where this new Earth Worship is headed in the future. Doubt at your own peril."
Next, Faux News gets it's headlines from the National Enquirer/Weekly World News.
...oh wait, it already does. :S
PROTIP: The film "MiB" is not a documentary. Least of all the scene where Agent 'K' buys tabloid magazines to use as 'Tip Sheets'.
...hmmmmmmm, 'Agent K'. "K". Poe or Troll? Literally Unbelievable.
6/6/2012 11:53:16 AM
#1410653
Joe Mama
Godwin. You lose. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. You get nothing! Good day sir!
And the fact that this rant is in response to an Onion article means double fail.
6/6/2012 2:13:26 PM
#1410664
Hoplite
Oh Snap. The fundies are onto us.
6/6/2012 3:13:01 PM
#1410665
TheLastCenturion
This right here proves that fundies are idiots, and will believe anything. they also believe in the god of the bible. i know correlation does not equal causation, but causation sure does one hell of a job of correlating.
6/6/2012 3:15:59 PM
#1410673
Old Viking
If you read it in the Onion, you got the straight poop. Repent, before it's too late!
6/6/2012 4:00:05 PM
#1410674
Tempus
Religious fundamentalists unable to comprehend parody, Case No. 454,533,779.
Edit: So I checked Literally Unbelievable, and the first thing that popped up was a facebook post in which an anti-fundie took seriously an article in which The Onion claimed the Christian Right in Topeka, Kansas was trying to repeal the Second Law of Thermodynamics.
I don't want to live on this planet anymore...
6/6/2012 4:01:38 PM
#1410690
Wehpudicabok
@1410589:
You must be new here. Of course it reeks of projection. This is FSTDT - religious conservatives projecting their self-loathing onto liberals and secularists is our bread and butter.
@anyone looking for the original article:
I couldn't get a link from Unbelievable to work, but
here's the original.
6/6/2012 5:11:05 PM
#1410691
Alencon
I guess he doesn't realize that it's thanks to the Eco Terrorists of the 1960s and 1970s that his air and water are relatively unpolluted.
6/6/2012 5:11:44 PM
#1410741
Swede
We knew that eventually Liberals would get around to the "Final Solution".
The Conservatives can't expect to have it to themselves indefinitely, stupid.
Part of Earth Worship is keeping the circle of life, the food chain going. Humans are part of the food chain, we live off of some animals, plants and fungi, some of them live off of us when we have died.
the scum that must be cleansed from the earth
Shiny mirror...
Actually, I'm doing my part to reduce the population in future; I have no kids.
6/7/2012 12:22:12 AM
#1410757
whatever
@CanadianBroad
"The Onion. This guy is having conniption fits over an article in The Onion."
Good.
6/7/2012 3:43:05 AM
#1410758
whatever
"You? Turned to ashes if necessary."
No no no! Think of all the carbon dioxide and greenhouse gases that would be released if so many dead humans were burned. Wouldn't it be so much better to put them in a huge compost heap and use the resulting nutrient-rich compost to grow new super-plants!
6/7/2012 3:46:18 AM
#1410763
Brendan Rizzo
@ Wehpudicabok:
I actually have a hard time understanding why this fundie would be so angry. In the Onion article, it says that about 2 billion people have to die, right? Well, there are a billion Muslims in the world. Furthermore, of the world's billion Africans, about half are not Muslims, adding another 500 million or so to the total. All the Latinos in the world would probably make up the remaining half billion. Such a plan would allow the fundies to kill most of the people they hate, so why aren't they supporting this? Previous quotes have established that they don't care if these people die.
6/7/2012 5:20:04 AM
#1410768
whatever
@Brendan Rizzo
"Such a plan would allow the fundies to kill most of the people they hate, so why aren't they supporting this? Previous quotes have established that they don't care if these people die."
Yes but that's not really the point... with fundies it's more a case of "How dare liberals do what they want. Only we should be allowed to do that, because we do it in the name of Jesus!"
6/7/2012 5:55:24 AM
#1410775
Mister Spak
The article says about 2 billion people should die to save the environment. Fundies think 2 billion people should die because they are politically/theologically incorrect. These two opinions have nothing whatsoever in common. The environmental wackos killing is the ultimate evil, while the fundies killing is what (the christian)god wants.
6/7/2012 6:48:41 AM
#1410778
breakerslion
In other news, wrathful God's plague of mosquitoes strikes Northeastern US! All tremble before His might!
Biologist gene-splices DNA to make first real Jackalope.
Mysterious liquid falls from sky; indistinguishable from water scientists say.
6/7/2012 7:04:56 AM
#1410820
Oh My Dog!
Is it Opposite Day again?
6/7/2012 10:02:59 AM
#1410848
aaa
Man, you are going to feel stupid now.
6/7/2012 10:53:06 AM
#1410851
Metallic Space Dragon
The original article is a typical Onion article: funny and cynical at the same time. But really, this guy didn't get that this was a parody? There's only one word for a guy like this: dumbass.
6/7/2012 11:35:49 AM
#1410899
whatever
I suspect he knew it was a parody, but has gone down the "many a true word spoken in jest" route, and decided that the joke article has accidentally "hit on a very valid point". Perhaps he's more cynical than stupid. Stupid, yes! But cynical definitely. And paranoid.
6/7/2012 4:37:23 PM
#1410920
LadyJafaria
You know, people took Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal" seriously. I'm not talking a few nuts here and there, either, I'm talking enough to damage his reputation. I always wondered why and then I find Literally Unbelievable. No matter how obvious satire is, some arsehole somewhere is going to think it's true.
6/7/2012 7:55:06 PM
#1410967
michael3ov
I bet this is not a POE.
This is exactly how right wing nutjobs sound when they talk about this issue. He probably read the article on the onion and because of the way he thinks was completely convinced it was true.
We are going to put them all in FEMA camps very very soon.
6/8/2012 4:17:11 AM
#1411004
KittyKaboom
Wow. Who hasn't figured out The Onion is satire by now? I suppose he also loves the Landover Baptist site and agrees with everything he sees there?
Behold, Moronicus!
6/8/2012 6:11:13 AM
#1411162
6/9/2012 12:37:01 AM
1 2 3