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Quote# 87167

Change The Quantum Matrix in your home

Important note: When praying to change the quantum matrix, all members of a family should be holding hands or be in physical contact with one another. The head of the household prays and the other members should pray in agreement.

Father in heaven, In the name of The Lord Jesus Christ I ask you to change the quantum matrix in this sealed off house, and within striking distance of this sealed off house across all space time continuums, all dimensions, all time lines, all universes, all frequency domains, across all bubbles in the omniverse, across all planes of existence and across all the quantum matrix so that:

The enemy’s jump gate technology will not function in this sealed off house.
The enemy’s fractal jump gate technology will not function in this sealed off house.
The enemy’s living machine jump gate technology will not function in this sealed off house.
The enemy’s fractal living machine jump gate technology will not function in this sealed off house.

The enemy’s time travel technology will not function in this sealed off house.
The enemy’s fractal time travel technology will not function in this sealed off house.
The enemy’s living machine time travel technology will not function in this sealed off house.
The enemy’s fractal living machine time travel technology will not function in this sealed off house.

The enemy’s transporter technology will not function in this sealed off house.
The enemy’s fractal transporter technology will not function in this sealed off house.
The enemy’s living machine transporter technology will not function in this sealed off house.
The enemy’s fractal living machine transporter technology will not function in this sealed off house.

Michael Relfe, Educate Yourself 35 Comments [5/1/2012 3:20:47 AM]
Fundie Index: 27
Submitted By: zipperback
WTF?! || meh
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#1399421
NonProphet

I'm afraid that won't save you from the Daleks, Relfe.

Your only hope is a certain mad man with a little blue box.

5/4/2012 11:54:17 PM

#1399430
StallChaser

There is such a thing as taking too much acid.

5/5/2012 1:46:49 AM

#1399439
Raised by Horses

@Flah

Indeed. If the intruders come at them with pointy sticks, they're pretty much screwed.

5/5/2012 3:08:22 AM

#1399985
Tatsukun

Religion: using pretend magic to protect you from pretend bad things since several millennia ago.

5/7/2012 9:07:57 AM

#1404884
the sender

let them go just change their destination point

5/19/2012 8:35:07 AM

#1405195
whatever

Funny, they don't function in my non-sealed off house either.

5/20/2012 10:30:41 AM

#1406095


This is a thing of beauty.

5/23/2012 3:06:54 AM

#1409143
Alethe

Prayer against technology, delusional at that. Aside from fantasy novels and flicks, when or where has this ever worked?..

6/2/2012 11:22:10 AM

#1518706
Mix Master Mikaeus

Jesus Christ? Is this your name for the Omnissiah, lord of the machine and bringer of light to Humanity?

If so, HAIL THE OMNISSIAH!

3/24/2013 5:05:45 AM

#1519451
Kuno

But does it protect your house from them just kicking your door in?


3/26/2013 3:22:19 AM
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