Quote# 85459

Homosexual attractions are symptoms of a preventable developmental disorder. Once the symptoms are observed prompt intervention and treatment can prevent a homosexuality outcome, but it is preferable to prevent the conditions which cause the disorder in the first place.

1) The best prevention of homosexuality in boys is a strong father/son relationship in which the father affirms the masculine identity of the son. Irving Bieber who conducted a comprehensive study of homosexual men found that a positive supportive relationship between father and son prevented homosexuality. This relationship should include rough and tumble play between father and son. For example, when a father tossing his young son up in the air, the boy is at first frightened but then recognizes that he can trust his father, that his father loves him, that the activity is exciting. The boy wants to do it over and over. The mother may try to intervene, but in a healthy situation the father ignores her protestations and the son learns independence from the mother. If the mother prevails and the activity ceases or never begins, the father/son bond is not firmly established. There is evidence that being tossed in the air and rough-and-tumble play in the first 3 years of life builds brain connections which lead to confidence in physical activity and may effect later coordination.

2) Second, it is absolutely essential that all adults and older children unequivocally affirm the boy's masculine identity, and show disapproval toward stereotypically girly activities and cross dressing. A simple "Boys don't do that" on the first occasion is sufficient.

3) The mother must encourage her son's competence and mastery and teach him how to overcome his fears and anxieties.

4) The mother must affirm her respect for manhood and men, particularly if the father is clearly deficient or absent.

5) The boy must have a chance to observe happy marriages close up and understand that love between husband and wife is a beautiful thing.

6) The boy needs boy playmates who share his interests.

7) The mother should be modest in front of her children and respect their modesty. Children should not observe sexual acts.

8) Children should be protected from sexual molestation by adults or other children, with a yearly admonition from their parents that if anyone tries to touch their private parts or asks them to touch his parts they are to tell immediately and that people who do such things are usually liars.

9) Parents need to teach children to forgive those who injure them, to reject envy and self-pity, and to practice virtue. The difference between boys who become homosexual and those who do not is not simply that the former were traumatized and the latter not. Almost all children experience traumas of one sort or another. The difference may be that for the homosexually attracted the trauma remained unhealed. In many cases bitterness, envy, unforgiveness, and self-pity were either allowed to fester or subtly encouraged.

D. O'Leary, Fathers for Life 63 Comments [1/4/2012 4:38:05 AM]
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