The Internet was created by the United States of America - a Christian nation [ref. 1, 2, 3] - and should not be used to spread anti-Christian, secular, or non-Christian propaganda and hatespeech. This is our Internet, and we should exercise our position as its owners and as the guardians of civilization to stop its misuse.
For this reason, this website was created to try and stop one of the more vile and dangerous misuses of the Internet: using it to mock Our Lord Jesus Christ, His teachings, and His followers. And one site in particular stands out in need of stoppage: Landover Baptist.
Link to Landover Baptist website
WARNING: Should not be viewed by anyone under 21
Landover Baptist claims to be a church. Moreover, they claim to be the only church in America that understands the Bible! In fact, neither is true. Landover Baptist is a fraud. A joke. Their true purpose is not to spread the Gospel of our Lord, but to trick people - especially those who have not received the Word and Salvation or have been programmed by secular culture to distrust Christianity - into believing that Christianity is evil and rejecting it.
For this blasphemous atrocity, the Landover Baptist website must be removed from our Internet.
73 comments
Can people stop posting these, they are a very clever satire and very fake.
EDIT: should have read the post first D:
Hey, stupid,
The Internet was not created by the U.S.A. It was initially thought up by a British scientist, and developed by the CERN people in Europe.
Apart from that, fuck off.
The fail and unwarranted self-importance are strong with this one. [/Yoda]
Also, First Amendment and Treaty of Tripoli, bitch! The USA aren't a Xian nation, and freedom of speech means that people can criticize your religion to their heart's content.
Actually the internet is an American (originally military) invention - it just refers to the structure of the network.
The World Wide Web is what makes it work for the rest of us & that was invented by Tim Berners-Lee (British) working for CERN (European). No-one owns it - that's the whole point.
The internet is an international phenomenon. Even if American fundies could have some control over it, the rest of the world would simply continue filling it with porn and cats. Ehm, and blasphemy, I guess.
Things we can do:
Prayer. It is our best weapon against the anti-Christian forces. We must pray not only that the Lord will intervene on behalf of the unsaved who are being damaged by Americhrist Ltd., but also for the souls of those same unsaved. Furthermore, we must pray that Chris Harper and his fellow hatemongers will themselves be saved and cease in their evil actions.
Lanover Baptist is a joke that no one takes seriously. No one is dumb enough to think that ALL Christians are like that.
If you really want someone to be outraged at, then why don't you focus on the Westboro Baptist "Church", who are a real cult/hate group who actually does make Christianity look bad. They, and people like them, are the reason people distrust and reject your religion.
maxedout is correct.
To add insult to injury, Mr. Carlson, if you do some research, you'll find that Al Gore really was on the leading edge of the developement of the internet. You dumbfucks vilified him for his claim. You were wrong. And you are wrong in every aspect of this diatribe.
Dear fuckwitted Christian,
The Internet belongs to the world. Your nation was founded on secular principles, not Christian ones. Please get a clue or fuck off.
Sincerely,
A sane individual who knows more about history than you do.
Well, yeah, and you wouldn't have the computers that the internet is based on if it weren't for that godless homosexual Turing. Computing is from Satan! And all that software stuff they run wouldn't work without the abomination that is the compiler - pioneered by a woman in authority over men, which is clearly unbiblical! No way you should be accepting this!
Let go of your keyboard, wash your hands and pray for forgiveness. Jesus might just about be able to save you if you STOP RIGHT NOW!!!
Jim , please get a grip. Landover Baptist is much nicer than Westboro. Didn't you like the article "tampons - satans cottony fingers" ?
The internet is mostly porn sites anyway, try removing Adult Empire first.
maxedout said:
Actually the internet is an American (originally military) invention - it just refers to the structure of the network.
Not quite.
The Internet we know today, was initially created as a merger between DARPANET, various US university networks and EU-net. I was connected through EU-net prior to the Internet. It had some really simple services such as ftp, telnet, ntp and gopher.
Ever hear of something called the 1st Amendment asswipe?
I didn't need secular culture to convince me that some Christians, not Christianity itself, but some Christians, are evil. Christianity has redeeming quailities about it, once you get past the silliness, but fundies like you don't.
The US is a secular nation, your Christian nation argument is a lost and pointless endeavor. The internet was originally developed to be a communications network to survive a nuclear event thanks to the cold war. It was then seen as a commercial and communications potential. It allows the free flow of ideas and information. Something your kind doesn't appreciate.
Also the Landover Baptist church is a satire, something I'm sure flies right over your heads.
"The Internet was created by the United States of America - a Christian nation [ref. 1, 2, 3] - and should not be used to spread anti-Christian, secular, or non-Christian propaganda and hatespeech."
Digital Computer: Britain (Colossus). Germany (Z1)
Operating System: Britain (Alan Turing)
Supercomputer: Britain (Atlas)
Large-scale networking of computers: Belgium
World Wide Web: Britain (Sir Tim Berners-Lee; CERN [Geneva, Switzerland])
"This is our Internet"
No it's not. Because we say so.
And so what if the parody Landover Baptist Church helps to destroy[/i[ you? Because you deserve to be destroyed, fundies.
One word, and concept, about Landover Baptist Church that I'm positive escapes your tiny mind, Carlson, you dimwitted, fucking tool: SATIRE!
N.
PS. "Your Internet"? "YOUR INTERNET"?!?!? Are you fucking serial??? Who the Jesus H. Goddamn Motherfucking Christ on a popcicle stick do you think you are, you fascistic little shitstain? Fuck you and christofascist horse you rode in on!
At least he figured out that Landover Baptist is a Poe site. That's pretty perceptive for a fundy so I'll give him a half point. His assertions about the "Christian origin" of this country and the internet are, however, pure BS.
Once again, the religious cry for censorship of opposing views.
I treat every position in which their only defense is "we are not to be questioned" with great distrust. And people like Jimmy make it worse.
Oh, and America is not Christian.
By the way, the computer as we know it was invented by a Hungarian-American engineer (John von Neumann). Turing laid the foundations for the study of computer science, but von Neumann made the critical breakthrough that allowed computers to do such varied things: treating code as data.
"Their true purpose is not to spread the gospel of our lard, but to trick people...."
Nope. I dont think so. It seems to me that their purpose is to show the absurdity of xianity by emphasizing the absurdity of the xian message, and babble. Their spoofs are indeed supported by scripture. In the middle ages, witches were burned and hanged because...it is plainly demanded in the babble to kill them. I really wish you xians would stand up and claim your religion and its religious texts.
The internet is American now? HAHAHAHA! Oh man, have we got news for you. But hey, even if it was and even IF you owned it and controlled it, the rest of us would just start our own network. It's not like we cannot use these phonelines for anything else. You lose either way.
What I find simultaneously hilarious and absolutely scary is that although it has been pointed out very clearly in this thread that "Objective: Ministries" is a spoof (= a fake, not a genuine fundie website, the same as Landover Baptist), nevertheless the vast majority of posters has ploughed ahead and jumped all over it with harsh criticism as if it were real.
That doesn't exactly cast a positive light on this site, does it? What a shame. :-(
Aww, that's cute. But see, the Internet could have never been invented without first, the invention of the computer. And seeing as how the computer was actually invented by a gay man, Alan Turing, the Internet would at least partially be the property of gay people according to your logic.
The internet was created by a bunch of atheists in physics departments so they could communicate. The money came from DARPA because the network could lose a node and still work; Like in a war, see?.
The World Wide Web was invented by Tim Berners-Lee at CERN. That's not in the United States, scooter.
Oh yes, Treaty of Tripoli bitch!
LOL!
DIAF!
Idiot.
Oh? This is an interesting switch from the declarations that the web is in fact the literal creation, tool, and spiritual trapping device of Satan.
Actually the initial concept for the internet was put forth by famous Serbian inventor Nikola Tesla, who happened to be an atheist... and sort of crazy. He also wanted to give it out for free.
One of many things the lovable mad scientist never got any credit for.
Hey everybody...OBJECTIVE is a parody site. That's been pretty well established. Seriously, do a search on any of the major search engines.
It doesn't belong on FSTDT.
I thought the Internet sort of created itself. It started in British and American military intelligens and just grew, like a living organism.
Don't the Landover Baptists claim to amuse people? If your religion lend itself so easily to mockery, maybe there's something wrong with the religion, not with the mockery.
sorry, not the USA but Al Gore personally built the interwebs.
The interwebs is for Porn, and lolcats, and a few dog pics are allowed if they are funny (other small animals too, like baby hamsters with their first brocli)
Unfounded Assertion #1; that America is a Christian country. The only evidence this site gives is personal anecdotes from the Founding Fathers that hold no legal authority or merit whatsoever. Plus, he also claims that the Constitution was based on Christian morals, but offers no evidence whatsoever, which makes that Unfounded Assertion #2.
#3; Christians, or Americans, "own" the Internet. Computers and the Internet were created by atheists, and yet we don't try to claim it as our own.
It's funny how Christians are too fucking stupid to respond to the arguments crushing their cult; instead, they must try to impose fascist ideology on society, take control of information outlets, and then silence everyone who opposes them. Just more proof that christianity is a failed doomsday cult, nothing more.
How about stopping Hard core porn , bestiality porn, etc before Landover baptist, home of Tampons , Satans cottiny fingers ?
Landover Baptist: A parody of right-wing Fundamental ist Christianity. To expose it's very insanity. PROTIP: you can't spell right-wing Fundamentalist Christianity without the word Mental . Oh, and another thing (re. 'YOUR internet'?!):
The concept of large-scale networking of computers: Belgium. Before ARPANET.
The concept of electronic devices placed in orbit, so as to relay radio signals to other parts of the world: Arthur C. Clarke. 1945. UK. 16 years before Telstar; and guess who was recruited to be senior technical advisor to the project...?
WWW: CERN, Geneva. Switzerland. Sir Tim Berners-Lee (HTML). UK.
Digital computers: Colossus. Alan Turing. WWII. UK.
You're welcome, USA. [/mega-sarcasm]
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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