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So subtle are the ways of religion that we are all certain to succumb to its devious blandishments and glamorous enchantments sooner or later. Its honeyed words draw us towards it, like zombies lurching unerringly towards a source of fresh brains. Once snared, we may be held unsatiated for the rest of our lives, greedily feasting on the contents of other peoples' skulls to try and assuage our hunger.
Or maybe not.
11/6/2011 3:34:27 AM
So add "safe" exits throughout the building, dipshits.
11/6/2011 3:49:25 AM
"Pastor Lamont Melrose of Potters House Christian Fellowship Church in Pasadena said patrons are not allowed to leave Hell House early due to safety concerns.
He said the attraction's aim is to convince people to accept Jesus Christ as their savior."
'You can check out any time you like
But you can never leave...!'
Actually, I've seen film of an abortion. Nope, still Atheist. Because abortion is completely legal. And Romans 13:1-5 forces you fundies to accept, nay, obey the law.
Yeah. An entirely different matter ain't it, when the glove's on the other foot, eh fundies...?! >:D
11/6/2011 9:44:44 AM
Atomic Flamethrowing Vagina
Yeah, Hell Houses must be a Southern thing. I've lived in New York my whole life and I would've just thought a "Hell House" was one of the normal Haunted Houses that spring up around Halloween-time.
But seriously, what a dickface pastor. Dishonesty for Jesus is still dishonesty.
11/6/2011 1:28:50 PM
She's right. You shouldn't convert kids, or anyone like that. Once when I was three or four, I asked my mom if I was gonna go to heaven. She said 'I donno, you've been pretty bad.' I cried for like a half hour. I later got kicked out of a summer bible day camp, and flirted with christianity in middle school and paganism in highschool and early adulthood. I am firmly in wishy-washy spirituality land now and slowly drifting toward complete apathy on the subject.
11/6/2011 2:43:11 PM
It's a Bible Belt thing mostly.
11/7/2011 12:00:00 AM
Oh. Like they aren't obviously trying to dupe people. I've heard of churches doing crap like this, but I'd still assume that something called "Hell House" was just another haunted attraction unless it mentioned something Christian-y in ads or something.
And, yeah, I'm sure the abortion part was *totally factual and realistic.*
11/7/2011 1:57:35 AM
I laughed and then I felt sad.
11/7/2011 5:03:56 AM
What a wad of self-righteous jackasses.
11/7/2011 5:21:05 AM
I've heard of those. They prevent patrons from leaving if they scoff at what they've seen. I don't mean in the middle of the tour, I mean some asshole in a devil costume commands you to stay where you are and blocks the exit while Jesus drags you back to the beginning to 'show you the way' to be free of the devil's control.
11/7/2011 1:58:26 PM
By "safety concerns," the pastor means "us wanting to continue to force our religious views on others against their will."
I work at a haunt at a 180-year-old, formerly-abandoned prison complex - a RUINED PRISON, ffs - and we have no problem making sure that anyone can leave early & safely if they so choose.
If a church can't manage that, then it seems to me they're either lazy or cruel. Or both.
11/7/2011 5:22:25 PM
Safety concerns.. like the risk they get out early and call the cops on these sadists.
Shit, we like to bash the whackaloon sects as cults, but these guys are the real deal.
11/7/2011 6:48:48 PM
I live in Alaska and also had never heard of a hell house. If I had known it was put on by a church, I might be suspicious. Then again, maybe not.
Doesn't matter. It's definitely fishy that the pastor won't allow people to leave early. As others have pointed out, there should ALWAYS be an escape route.
11/7/2011 8:58:03 PM
"Pastor Lamont Melrose of Potters House Christian Fellowship Church in Pasadena said patrons are not allowed to leave Hell House early due to safety concerns."
That would be illegal in the UK, due to Health and Safety.
Oh, the irony...!
11/8/2011 8:30:26 AM
I didn't know about Hell Houses either. Then again, I've never been to Texas, or anywhere else in the south/midwest.
11/9/2011 11:46:56 PM
The liar has it backward, and he damned well knows it. There's no legitimate safety concern that would make it wrong to let someone leave the haunted house when they want to, but there are plenty of safety concerns that come up when you *can't* leave.
I'm pretty damned sure there's a fire code violation going on if people can only get in and out at the start and end of the tour.
No, the liar knows that the real reason for not letting kids leave is that they want the indoctrination story to play out to the end.
ANY haunted house run by decend caring human beings, as upposed to the assholes that set up these odious Hell Houses, has an "out" for kids who are too scared and frightened to continue. They're not forced to keep going. But at a Hell House, scaring the shit out of the kids so they'll swallow any bullshit you throw at them is the whole intended point.
When the assholes running a Hell House find that a child is frightened, and not in that good clean fun halloween sort of way, but in a genuine real terror sort of way, they consider that a *success*. A decent human being would NOT consider it a success. They'd go "oops I think we went too far there", or "oops this child probably wasn't ready for this, lets escort him out."
11/10/2011 2:52:44 PM
There was a Something Positive comic about this. And I think that detaining a minor is like one step down from kidnapping, so hello lawsuit. Plus, if it was a graphic abortion, that's also showing porn to minors.
11/11/2011 6:12:07 PM
This sounds like that Simpsons Halloween episode where Ned Flanders is the devil and runs the "Heck House".
11/15/2011 12:46:10 AM
"Oh God, please help me teach your love by scaring the everloving shit out of them!"
11/30/2011 1:08:10 AM
Forget saving souls - these shitheaps must enjoy the idea of people being mentally scarred for life. They probably LIKE seeing people break down, since that's a sign their scheme must be working (in their sick minds).
11/30/2011 1:55:59 PM
patrons are not allowed to leave Hell House early due to safety concerns
Unless this "hell house" is surrounded by a real lava filled moat, that's just habeas corpus, plain and simple. Even if it is written at the back of the entery ticket, legally it would be considered a "void contract".
A class action could, of course, ascertain that this Melrose psychopath is never allowed in the vicinity of a church ever again.
12/1/2011 2:26:27 AM
I find it kind of funny how many people here are saying "Oh come on, who HASN'T heard of hell houses?"
I'm a former fundamentalist (now agnostic and slightly afraid of fundamentalists haha) who just heard of them for the first time THIS YEAR. I read a book where they had them, and I thought for SURE the author made it up to be overdramatic. It wasn't until last week when I found the (already mentioned many times) comic about it, via TV Tropes, that I learned they were real.
Heck, where I come from (northeastern US), the churches just have alternative Harvest Parties. It's EXACTLY THE SAME as Halloween, except no "dark" costume (like witches and dead people and such) and at church. There's still costumes and candy.
I like ours better. (Also, yes, I'm almost POSITIVE it was a highly medically inaccurate portrayal of abortion.)
(Oh, and given the venue, I feel the need to clarify...I was basically fundamentalist in BELIEFS, but I also kept my mouth shut about it and didn't push it on anyone else. At all. Ever. I doubt most people even knew how religious I was. I suppose that actually made me a "bad Christian," since I wasn't out proselytizing. Whatever. I'm far more vocal being on the more liberal side now, which is kind of funny.)
1/7/2012 12:16:18 AM
4/30/2013 3:25:15 AM
As a Swede, it's no wonder I didn't know what a Hell House is. That sounds terrifying and despicable! Like others have said; youre REQUIRED to have emergency exits, surely? I'd be even more non-religious after an experience like that, for sure!
Aren't most abortions drug-induced nowadays? You take a pill; the embryo dislogdes and comes out in a slightly more extensive mensturation period a day or so later. Many suicides are probably drug-induced also; you take too much of something, fall asleep and never wake up. Those are not particularly visible things to scare people with...
4/30/2013 6:56:00 AM
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