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#1324002
Satanic Evilutionist
Dammit, and just when we were so close to tricking the kids into believing our Satanically influenced biological lies! Fucking wood, how does it work?
8/22/2011 3:21:26 AM
#1324005
anevilmeme
"Can an evolutionist please explain to me how and why WOOD evolved?"
Oh look, it's trying to be clever.
8/22/2011 3:28:20 AM
#1324009
Percy Q. Shunn
8/22/2011 3:45:50 AM
#1324010
Tempus
So why did it take so long for wood to evolve why plants would have benefited from having a height advantage over their competitors from the moment they first appeared???
Probably because for the first few million years, most land plants were only a few centimeters tall and therefore didn't NEED woody structures to help support themselves.
Not every land plant alive today even bothers with wood.
8/22/2011 3:48:54 AM
#1324014
Mister Spak
"Can an evolutionist please explain to me how and why WOOD evolved???? "
plants would have benefited from having a height advantage over their competitors
"So why did it take so long for wood to evolve why plants would have benefited from having a height advantage over their competitors from the moment they first appeared??? "
Because evolution doesn't happen in your backyard during an afternoon while you watch.
8/22/2011 4:16:00 AM
#1324016
kuribo
what I can't figure out is how *you* evolved. Survival of the fittest, my ass.
8/22/2011 4:19:50 AM
#1324020
Deep Search
From Wikipedia:
The early Devonian landscape was devoid of vegetation taller than waist height. Without the evolution of a robust vascular system, taller heights could not be attained. There was, however, a constant evolutionary pressure to attain greater height. The most obvious advantage is the harvesting of more sunlight for photosynthesis – by overshadowing competitors – but a further advantage is present in spore distribution, as spores (and, later, seeds) can be blown greater distances if they start higher. This may be demonstrated by Prototaxites, thought to be a late Silurian fungus reaching eight metres in height.[53]
To attain arborescence, early plants had to develop woody tissue that provided support and water transport. To understand wood, we must know a little of vascular behaviour. The stele of plants undergoing "secondary growth" is surrounded by the vascular cambium, a ring of cells which produces more xylem (on the inside) and phloem (on the outside). Since xylem cells comprise dead, lignified tissue, subsequent rings of xylem are added to those already present, forming wood.
OMG THAT WAS HARD. ALSO: LOL wood...
8/22/2011 4:32:45 AM
#1324022
Jezebel's Evil Sister
If you really want to know, you could just Google "plant evolution," since it appears you have access to a googling machine.
But, obviously, you don't want real information to interfere with that willful ignorance of yours that you are so proud of.
8/22/2011 5:06:49 AM
#1324027
8/22/2011 5:14:02 AM
#1324028
aaa
I would love to find out what has fucked up your brain so badly.
8/22/2011 5:15:21 AM
#1324031
Towey
Evolution of Wood 101: When a man loves a woman.....
8/22/2011 5:21:25 AM
#1324032
gaijinlaw
"Would I? Would I!?"
"HARELIP! HARELIP!"
8/22/2011 5:21:51 AM
#1324038
dionysus
Duh, wood couldn't have evolved, it was created by the almighty Beaver (may his teeth grow eternally) to help his chosen beavers build holy dams in His Holy Name. If you don't chew down at least 100 trees and build Him a shrine that makes His Tail thump in glee, he'll dam you to hell!
8/22/2011 5:36:26 AM
#1324040
Raised by HorsesWood? Fucking wood? I swear, these God-of-the-gaps attempts get lamer every year.
You'd think that if there really were a deity like the Abrahamic God, it wouldn't have any trouble proving its own existence.
8/22/2011 5:38:54 AM
#1324047
Well, I wood explain it to you, but you probably won't believe me anyway.
8/22/2011 5:48:29 AM
#1324048
Gawd
Is this guy genuine? Seriously, I can't tell with these people any more.
8/22/2011 5:52:29 AM
#1324050
Doubting Thomas
FACT: Plants are made of leaves and stems and do not contain any wood.
That is FALSE. Anyone who's ever spent any time in the woods or tried to use a weed eater on stubborn trumpet vines like the ones I fight on my property knows that there are plenty of woody plants out there.
Oh yeah, and trees are plants as well. Go back to grade school and try to learn something this time.
8/22/2011 6:00:04 AM
#1324054
Joe Mama
Oh please. "I don't know where wood came from, therefore God made it" is not a logical argument.
8/22/2011 6:10:25 AM
#1324056
nutbunny
is this guy not a poe?
8/22/2011 6:22:59 AM
#1324058
Zeus Almighty
Trees grow up, trees fall down; never a miscommunication. You can't explain that.
8/22/2011 6:26:16 AM
#1324059
Smurfette Principle
Evolutionists claim that trees did not evolve for 15 million years after the first plants appeared.
So why did it take so long for wood to evolve why plants would have benefited from having a height advantage over their competitors from the moment they first appeared???
Why did it take so long? Because evolution takes a fucking long time, idiot. Evolution takes years and years of trial and retrial. A plant doesn't just snap its little leaf fingers and demand wood - it takes a random mutation coupled with years of breeding.
8/22/2011 6:32:40 AM
#1324060
Anon-e-moose
Humans (
Homo Sapiens) have 46 chromosomes. One of the earlies plants, the fern - specifically
Ophioglossum reticulatum - has
1260 chromosomes.
So how could something - that appeared
before trees with woody tissue, never mind humans - benefit so much from having a genetic advantage over their competitors from the momemt they appeared hundreds of millions of years ago?
The Giant Sequoia has just
66 chromosomes.
Your call, Garv.
--EDIT--
@Da Product
"inb4 identifying wood"
The... Larch. [/Monty Python] X3
Apparently Garv here can't tell the difference between Deciduous and Evergreen. Basic biology class stuff. Bamboo is used widely in the Far East as scaffolding (amongst thousands of other uses), with a tensile strength higher than steel. PROTIP:
Bamboo is a species of grass, Garv m'boy.
8/22/2011 6:42:08 AM
#1324061
Da Product
inb4 identifying wood
8/22/2011 6:43:36 AM
#1324063
CanadianBroad
OMFG! I mean, really? That's supposed to be some kind of "gotcha" question?
Sigh.
I have no more than high-school biology to go on (and that was back in the dark ages, when we rode T-Rex's to school, ya know) and I can still figure *that* one out.
What a dinglberry.
8/22/2011 6:49:45 AM
#1324064
CanadianBroad
@ gaijinlaw
LoL!! I thought I was the only one who remembered that gem of bygone eras.
Oh, and thanks for making me snort coffee. Not nice at all. ;)
8/22/2011 6:53:03 AM
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