1 2 3
#1295052
Just days after Obama insisted Israel must give up lands it won through military victory with its enemies, some 200 people were killed by a tornado in Joplin, Mo.
There's a pattern here.
There is a pattern but you stupid fundies are too dumb to see it.
It's like this, Joplin, Mo is in the middle of the tornado belt of the United States. That's it. No big mystery and no wrath of God.
If your God is pissed with Obama for saying he wants to see a return to Israel's 1967 borders, then why did he hit the Bible Belt with his wrath instead of the White House?
You morons never have an explanation for that. Ever.
6/1/2011 9:09:25 AM
#1295061
God
Damned Harold Camping! Always getting me dates wrong, I'm going to have to punish him!
"200 people were killed by a tornado in Joplin, Mo."
DAMMIT! Missed AGAIN!!
I gotta stop smoking so much pot... sheesh
6/1/2011 9:58:00 AM
#1295063
farpadokly
I ate a sandwich and then it started to rain. Guess what. There was no causal connection between these two events.
God sure moves in mysterious ways, doesn't he? Something happens in his favourite land of Israel so he causes a storm halfway around the world. Why, if he's pissed off at Obama, doesn't he attack Washington DC? Why murder the innocent, god-fearing inhabitants of Joplin, MO? Why not attack the United Nations, and every country in the world who has agreed to the current partition in Israel? Why not, in fact, use his omnipotence to simply magically ensure the survival of Israel forever?
Is it just possible that a tornado in an area well known for its tornadoes has absolutely nothing to do with what goes on in the middle east?
6/1/2011 10:01:39 AM
#1295070
LDM
Or maybe it's just tornado season, and every now and then a big one hits a heavily populated area?
Or maybe because severe weather warnings and sirens are so overused here in the Great Plains, that we've started ignoring them? (Not anymore, we don't)
6/1/2011 10:13:48 AM
#1295077
Riku
Yes... because weather patterns are clearly evidence of God punishing the U.S. Other nations that are allied with Israel don't get this so called, "Divine Judgment" when they insist on the same things as Obama... so, it's obvious to conclude that Farah is pulling crap out of his ass.
6/1/2011 10:39:57 AM
#1295079
Papabear
"Bible prophecy" has a well deserved bad name.
Nitwits use the jumble of words called the Bible in attempts to give support to their fervent desires to be "saved," loved and be significant.
6/1/2011 10:49:15 AM
#1295088
WWWWolf
> Once again, we've seen the U.S. hit with a series of deadly superstorms following Barack Obama's pledge to return Israel to pre-1967 borders.
Bullshit. The deadly US superstorms are a direct result of the Finnish populist party's record-breaking seat gain in the April election. How can any bullshit-spewing party gain 34 seats and not make God throw a temper-tantrum of epic proportions?
*sigh* Americans...
6/1/2011 11:46:46 AM
#1295090
Headache
Just days after Obama insisted Israel must give up lands it won through military victory with its enemies, some 200 people were killed by a tornado in Joplin, Mo.
There's a pattern here.
Yes there is a pattern here and do you know what that pattern is? It happens every year, you can almost set your watch to it.
Hot moist air is coming north from the Mexican Gulf where it meets cold dry air coming down from the north and voila - severe thunderstorms and possibly tornadoes!
Has nothing to do with your insane middle eastern mythology!
6/1/2011 11:54:51 AM
#1295092
Drax
Yes, there's a pattern here. The pattern is that natural disasters have always happened and are still happening today. Long after we're all dead, the world will still be here and natural disasters will still be occuring regardless of the political issues of the day.
You're as deluded as Camping, except you've got just enough sense not to try to put a date on this rapture of yours.
6/1/2011 11:55:27 AM
#1295104
checkmate
Joseph Farah is right.
There is a pattern here and we are in the End Times.
The pattern is known as "weather" and the End Times will take a few billion years, but things will end. Eventually.
It's the same logic as "the most common cause of death is life."
6/1/2011 12:42:45 PM
#1295107
Old Viking
God's was pissed at Obama's foreign policy, so he slapped the snot out of Joplin, MO. He was considering Keokuk, IA, but decided, "Screw it, I'll get them next time."
6/1/2011 12:48:59 PM
#1295114
aaa
So, how many nautical miles of Likud dick do you suck every day?
6/1/2011 1:18:57 PM
#1295117
Pule Thamex
"but the biggest sign of the end may have been overlooked in all the rapture hysteria of last weekend."
Gosh! One would almost think that Joseph Farah is almost being prophetic and that ...quite possibly the ...er ... rapture will be ...er ...soon. Apparently, this will be because of horrendous weather and the fact that Israel's staunchest ally occasionally falters in the staunching department.
Though, I suspect that with the continuing list of Camping failures, as clearly predicted by many millions of amused onlookers, that the "comedy flying club" loonies will be more predisposed to hedge their bets for the time being. However, I can confidently prophesize the continued residence of Joseph Farah in God-Zombie's "Magical Fantasy Land" for the rest of his life.
Personally, I'm looking forward to further "misguided date-setting" and "rapture hysteria", as I'm sure are many millions of others.
6/1/2011 1:35:09 PM
#1295119
checkmate
According to Farah's description, God's a real asshole.
6/1/2011 1:53:27 PM
#1295120
Pilotess
I had not heard Obama saying this, but I'm not all up to date with the news ...
But please someone explain to me why god punishes the people in Joplin MO for something Obama said? Seriously, Joplin MO is not Obama demographic, it's Bible Belt!
6/1/2011 1:55:45 PM
#1295125
Canadiest
Yeah, Bad weather is Gods revenge for something inspecific and aimed elsewhere. Do you people ever listen to yourselves?
Regular people living their lives experience disastor and death in the extended family in America because their not Isreals bitch. None of us, Arab states definately included, no one is under Israels thumb. They do whats best for the area and honor their agreements or we remove their defenses.
I'm not anti-semetic, I'm anti Israel
6/1/2011 2:24:27 PM
#1295127
TWoozl
...Or, you know, maybe it's tornado season in tornado country, and you're finding signs where there aren't any.
6/1/2011 2:30:07 PM
#1295128
TheJebusFire
Once again, we've seen the U.S. hit with a series of deadly superstorms following Barack Obama's pledge to return Israel to pre-1967 borders.
Funny how none of those hit the white house. Your god must have horrible aim.
6/1/2011 2:32:18 PM
#1295129
Anon2
There's a pattern here.
Yes, I agree. There is a pattern here.
The pattern that religious people desperately try to see "meaning" and "will" behind natural, random events, where in reality no "will" exists at all. A pattern that occurs constantly, since millenia.
6/1/2011 2:46:46 PM
#1295132
Whitleylad
Bullshit. I've answered this question before so I'm not going to repeat my self instead some Lyrics.
Desmond has a barrow in the market place
Molly is the singer in a band
Desmond says to Molly - girl I like your face
And Molly says this as she takes him by the hand.
Chorus:
Obladi oblada life goes on bra
Lala how the life goes on
Obladi Oblada life goes on bra
Lala how the life goes on.
Desmond takes a trolly to the jewellers stores
Buys a twenty carat golden ring
Takes it back to Molly waiting at the door
And as he gives it to her she begins to sing.
Chorus
In a couple of years they have built
A home sweet home
With a couple of kids running in the yard
Of Desmond and Molly Jones.
Happy ever after in the market place
Desmond lets the children lend a hand
Molly stays at home and does her pretty face
And in the evening she's a singer with the band.
Chorus
In a couple of years they have built
A home sweet home
With a couple of kids running in the yard
Of Desmond and Molly Jones.
Happy ever after in the market place
Molly lets the children lend a hand
Desmond stays at home and does his pretty face
And in the evening she's a singer with the band.
Chorus
And if you want some fun - take Obladiblada.
6/1/2011 2:58:27 PM
#1295138
casewithscience
Random events = pattern of behaviour?
Well, every time a fundy is shown to be a homosexual I get laid. It happens quite a bit these days.
Hail satan!!!!
6/1/2011 3:26:33 PM
#1295139
"Weather Control Device Activated"
Is that what you're saying Farah? That Israel has some sort of thunderstorm machine?
6/1/2011 3:32:04 PM
#1295159
Post Hoc Ergo Proptor Hoc
You rang?
6/1/2011 5:32:09 PM
#1295165
Sasha
I remember playing Twister with my cousins in the garage, and then running down into the house cellar when a tornado hit. I haven't played Twister since. No, don't thank me, I'm just thinking of you guys.
6/1/2011 6:28:08 PM
#1295166
Hasher
Okay, I grant it does look a bit like fulfilment of the "prophecy" in Jack Chick's "Someone Angry?", but not half as much as it looks like coincidence.
6/1/2011 6:29:43 PM
1 2 3