Massive flood devastates parts of Missouri, but the lamestream media refuse to describe it as a "massive flood" because that might lead folks to read the Bible. See secularized language.
68 comments
Andy Schafly, everyone! You can'e make this stuff up!
Well, Andy clearly can, but...
Im sorry, I didn't realize that:
A) there was a worldwide flood going on;
B) your god had rescinded his "no worldwide floods" policy (you know, the one in Genesis 9).
Yes.
Because not being a Christian means that you deny the existence of massive flooding.
Seriously, does this guy take stupid pills?
Ya know, he's right. I just heard Anderson Cooper report on the Midwest floods. As I recall, he described them as "devastating," "catastropic," and "bad-assed mother fudgers." But he never said they were massive.
THAT's a sure sign of conspiracy and/or demon infestation and/or the end times ... or something.
@Prager
No, he's pretty much always been like this.
I pity the people who had to hang around him before he discovered the internets.
refuse to describe it as a "massive flood" because that might lead folks to read the Bible
Because when I hear about a massive flood the first thought in my head isn't "Oh those poor people! How can we help them?". No, apparently it's "Where's mah Bobble? I gots sum readin' tado."
In other news, scientists prove you can determine whether or not a person is an atheist or not by saying the word cross, and see if they spit bile, and start clawing at their ears.
Seriously, Andy?
So now the words 'massive flood' are exclusively christian, are they?
Andy, I've wanted to ask you this for some time, but no one who isn't kissing your ass can get the opportunity on your inept 'encyclopedia'...are you completely fucking stupid or do you only feel compelled to write when caught in the throes of a religious mania-induced brain fart?
Do you ever read your posts later and feel embarrassed?
I only ask because I feel utterly embarrassed for you.
"Massive flood devastates parts of Missouri, but the lamestream media refuse to describe it as a "massive flood" because that might lead folks to read the Bible. See secularized language."
So much for God's covenant (by a rainbow; or was God just having really gay sex at the time?!) that he would ensure that people would never have to suffer death & devatstation via Floods. I'm an Atheist, and I read that in the Bible decades before this particular tragedy. If anything, Andy Schaftafly, you should be scared of people doing exactly as you wish, as it would then expose to everyone the vile atrocities of the capricious and perverted monster you claim to worship.
...but then, it just goes to prove that - like you - God is a hypocrite. Remember, Andy: that Covenant. Just another day at the Schaftafly residence 'Chez Doublethink', Hypocrisyville, Contradiction City USA.
In other news, Prince William marries Kate Middleton today. Repeat of ceremony at Westminster Abbey at 11.
Being from Arkansas, one of the *many* states affected by the recent and extensive storm system, I can tell you the 'Noah' connection is getting *old*. I mean I had all that in my ear and was hardly convinced I should read a Bible when the stuff really hit the fan and our local drainage system failed, flooding housing and business areas.
Believe it or not, Andy, there's quite a large body of much more recent reference material about floods, which is where most people wanting to learn about them would start reading first.
See Common Sense.
You're joking... right?
Oh, and after this flood is over, look at the aftereffects (yes, those are preserved for posterity). See how they share absolutely no resemblance to the geologic column, meaning that the Great Flood never happened.
The lame-stream media ain't gettin' away with nothin, so longs as Andy's on the case! He's like a flat-chested Erin Brockovich, and he means biznuss. He sees through the underhanded anti-biblical, anti-adjective propogandas of those weasly (Jewish) weather-tyrant mind-manipulators, and he's CALLED THEM OUT, boy howdy.
Seriously: Andy's peaceful, magnetic demeanor and love for his fellow man is a true testament to the life-changing power of the Holy Spirit. He is indeed a beautiful soul, a new creation in Christ, and an example for us all.
I'd totally fuck his tight righteous ass.
Massive fail-stain spreads over the Internet. Legitimate media sources refuse to comment because that might lead folks to read Andy Assfly. See also: "screed, delusional, dimwit, hack."
Fixed.
Isn't there a massive flooding each year in the Nile region? Who would start reading the Bible just for a yearly occurrence?
Hey, spring flooding happens here in Sweden every year in April or May, too!!! Nothing to write home about, just nicely rippling rivers, though.
What about the massive whirlwinds and stuff, in south-east US of A right now? It seems God is pissed off at the people living there. Or maybe at the people in Malawi, taking his poor aim in consideration. Do you know where Malawi is, Andy-pandy?
Massive flood is Biblical language as opposed to secularised? Well the phrase doesn't appear in the KJV. Not in the NIV either. Not in the New American Standard Bible. It's not in the English Standard Version. Can't find it in the Good News Bible. In fact, I haven't been able to find the phrase in any English version. So why is it that particular phrase that you deem necessary to prick the religious conscience of the faithful? Is it because you have gone down the rabbit hole Andy, and the madness has consumed you entirely?
Uh yeah, sure Andy. And if everyone happened to have all referred to it as a massive flood, you'd be bitching about how they were only saying that to undermine the bible because didn't God promise never to flood the world again?
I bet you don't even fool your intended audience, Shitfly, they know it's excrement surely as well as you do, they just share your predilection to wallow in it
If God's mad at Missouri, he didn't hit the right cities. He completely missed Kansas City, and only hit the airport in St. Louis. (I know- I live in St. Louis city.) Both cities have Gay Pride festivals, and St. Louis hosts Pagan Picnic every year in June. So take THAT!
Schafly, being one of those idiots that thinks Christians created and developed the English language. By definition a "massive flood" of Missouri would have to cover over half the state, this flood was nowhere near that. The Noahs Ark Flood wasn't a "massive flood", it was a batshit insane impossible flood.
Someone who pretends to run an imformation site should be right about something once in awhile, but not Andy, he's proud to be misinformed on any subject and happy to spread the ignorance around.
When I read this quote, I thought... eh... typical random dumbfuck fundie.
But no, it's a bigger bottomfeeder then that. It's that diarrhea gargling muppet having it's throat stood on, the idiot spawn of Phyllis Schlafly, the follower of NephilimbicileFree the dishonest geocentrist whoremonger. The hilarious Andy Schlafly!
Tell me Andy, how's your conservative bible project going?
Yes Andy, God promised to never kill the entire population of the planet with a global flood. He apparently felt that promose did not stop him from lacal floods or tidal waves.
is MIssouri now the whole world ?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.