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Equating a 5-year-old's crush with fornication?
Put down the Bible, pick up a phone, and call a psychiatrist. Please.
2/12/2011 4:15:21 PM
Please place your son in foster care at once.
2/12/2011 4:16:50 PM
2/12/2011 4:18:11 PM
He is 5. He is, as far as I am aware, psychologically and physiologically neither inclined nor actually able to perform fornication.
....er, wait, its RR. I gotta rephrase that.
He does not want to fuck that girl. He won't. Get over it. Start worrying, if you must, in 10 years. And still, just make sure they know about protection.
2/12/2011 4:18:47 PM
OK, I checked out Matthew 5:28. It's the verse about adultery and lust in the heart. First off, I'm not sure you even understand what that verse means if you're trying to apply it to this situation, but lady (or man), for Pete's sake! He's five years old! He's not really thinking about sex. He's being a cute little kid.
2/12/2011 4:22:35 PM
Well, at least he's not one o' them filthy, degenerate hommasekshuls. I say you should just stone him a bit and send him to bed without dessert. That's what Jesus would have done.
2/12/2011 4:23:35 PM
The name doesn't exactly speak of a serious question here...
2/12/2011 4:24:47 PM
Link seems broken?
2/12/2011 4:32:36 PM
This has to be a Poe. Please? Even Rapture Retards aren't this stupid...
Of course they are.
I almost wish they were right and they'd all get raptured away so we wouldn't have to put up with them anymore.
2/12/2011 4:39:42 PM
Is... is this for friggin real? Flowers on Valentine's day between 5 year olds a gateway to fornication? How do they expect the boy to develop a healthy relationship with anyone of any gender if they freak out to that degree, let alone a romantic relationship. With that mindset how did they manage to HAVE a kid? After all marriage is the ultimate gateway to fornication.
2/12/2011 4:42:48 PM
'notwhoisaidiwas'...you are a cold, hateful, heartless S.O.B....that boy sounds so sweet! A sweet little boy wants to give a sweet little girl flowers for Valentine's Day, so beautiful...and a heartless subhuman like you wants to put the kabosh on it! SCREW YOU, FUNDIE DOUCHEBAG!!!
2/12/2011 4:46:45 PM
"YOU LITTLE PERVERT! NEVER THINK THOSE THOUGHTS ABOUT A WOMAN EVER AGAIN! ONLY THINK THAT WAY ABOUT JESUS!"
20 years later...
"Hey Mom, I'm not gay or anything, but I'm screwing bearded men."
2/12/2011 4:51:22 PM
Have your kids given to someone who can raise them competantly, you are not fit to be a parent if you have to ask such a stupid question.
2/12/2011 4:58:06 PM
A normal person would say "Awwwwww, that's so adorable!". It takes a rather dysfunctional mind to see that same situation and think "ZOMG, EVILLLLL!!!! QUICK, GET THE CHASITY BELT!!!".
Firstly, does he break Matthew 5:28, or is it just an innocent children's stage? Secondly, will this crushes end on their own at some stage, or is it a gateway to fornication?
Yeah, and before you know it he'll be running a prostitution ring out of his treehouse and paying his hookers in Pokemon cards.
I just realised just how difficult it is trying to raise children for God.
For the child? Yeah, it must be very difficult for him going through life knowing that no matter what he does his parents will think he's possessed by the devil.
2/12/2011 5:01:47 PM
"I just realised just how difficult it is trying to raise children for God."
No, you just realized how difficult it is to raise children when you're a slobbering idiot.
2/12/2011 5:03:09 PM
Treating crushes as a 'gateway to fornication'?
Um....with parents like that, am I the only who's thinking that this kid just might be a serial killer in the making?
2/12/2011 5:06:46 PM
Do you freak when kids play house? They see Mommy and Daddy and play mommy and daddy roles. Or is that too heteronormative for you?
Or maybe hubby doesn't bring you flowers.
2/12/2011 5:19:23 PM
Your kid's gonna grow up to have a stick up his ass, isn't he?
For fuck's sake
2/12/2011 5:19:49 PM
I know it's cliche to type in caps but HE'S FUCKING FIVE YEARS OLD! He doesn't even know what the fuck sex even IS yet!!
2/12/2011 5:21:23 PM
Man, your kid is going to be fucked up when he becomes an adult.
2/12/2011 5:25:25 PM
He's fucking five, you fucking idiots. He's not going to be looking lustfully at anything. His behaviour is perfectly normal, unlike yours. Close your bible and use your heads.
2/12/2011 5:33:17 PM
"Yeah, and before you know it he'll be running a prostitution ring out of his treehouse and paying his hookers in Pokemon cards."
That was hilarious. You win ten internets. XD
2/12/2011 5:34:04 PM
but how do we manage this biblically?
May I suggest "death by stoning"? /sarcasm
2/12/2011 5:45:01 PM
These are the same people who claim homosexuality is a "lifestyle choice" and that gays are going to "convert" their children to the "gay lifestyle". Your kid is 5. He already likes girls. What more proof do you need?
2/12/2011 5:47:19 PM
What's the harm in him getting flowers for a girl in his class? If a 5-year-old boy gives a flower to his female teacher, does that mean he wants to have sex with her? Only in your warped world.
2/12/2011 6:05:39 PM
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