"If you will promise to burn, shred or destroy your NIV per-Version (send me pictures, maybe) I'll send you a King James Bible. Yes I will. But you must get rid of your NIV. I have 3 brand new King James Bibles sitting on my table as we speak and they are ready to belong to you. Send me a message and I will get you your new TRUE WORD OF GOD Bible."
Better sit down, Kimmie. Because what I'm about to tell you, you're not going to like one bit:
Y'know that KJV you & your fundie ilk drool over so much? It's the product of a homosexual:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_relationships_of_James_I_of_England
'The personal relationships of James I of England included relationships with his male courtiers'
'James adopted a severe stance towards sodomy using English law. His book on kingship, Basilikón Doron, (Greek for "Royal Gift") lists sodomy among those “horrible crimes which ye are bound in conscience never to forgive”. He also singled out sodomy in a letter to Lord Burleigh giving directives that Judges were to interpret the law broadly and were not to issue any pardons, saying that "no more colour may be left to judges to work upon their wits in that point."
However, nearly two centuries later, Jeremy Bentham, in an unpublished manuscript, denounced James as a hypocrite after his crackdown: "[James I], if he be the author of that first article of the works which bear his name, and which indeed were owned by him, reckons this practise among the few offences which no Sovereign ever ought to pardon. This must needs seem rather extraordinary to those who have a notion that a pardon in this case is what he himself, had he been a subject, might have stood in need of.'
So I'm afraid the very basis of your beliefs (and thus the homophobia of you & your right-wing Fundamentalist Christian ilk) is itself homosexual in nature. Ergo, you & your fundie ilk are gay. QED.
I guess you'll have no choice but to burn, shred or destroy your KJV - with photographic (or video, on YouTube) evidence. If you promise to do so, I'll send you a copy of "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. Send me a message and I will get you your new Guide to Reality book.
@The Jamo
"Alright! A freebie! Too bad it's just a useless bible that I'd never read."
But then, you don't need to. There's a more practical purpose said freebie Bible could serve: when on those inevitable occasions you run out of bog paper, you can use pages torn out of said Bible to wipe your arse with. The paper used in Bibles is soooo absorbent (and my arsehole can testify to that fact! X3 )