Home Archives Random Quotes Latest Comments Top 100 Submit Quote Search Log In

Quote# 75815

I'm following along with a topic my friend brought up today about the NIV. The NIV is said to be the most sold/read bible version.

I'm urging all of my Born Again Christian friends to read this post. If after you have read this, you are appalled at being lied to by Satan.

If you will promise to burn, shred or destroy your NIV per-Version (send me pictures, maybe) I'll send you a King James Bible. Yes I will. But you must get rid of your NIV. I have 3 brand new King James Bibles sitting on my table as we speak and they are ready to belong to you. Send me a message and I will get you your new TRUE WORD OF GOD Bible.

Kimmie, Adventures in Raising Girls 65 Comments [9/5/2010 7:22:03 PM]
Fundie Index: 53
WTF?! || meh
Username:
Comment:



1 2 3
Man Called True

The True Word of God, if that's really what it is, would be in the original Hebrew parchments.

What you've got there is the Edited-For-Benefit-Of-A-Mad-Gay-King Word of God. (Who didn't even commisson the damn thing - that was his predescessor; all James did was refuse to pay for it.)

9/5/2010 7:24:35 PM

Mudak

Why not just wait until Conservapedia completes its own Bible project?

9/5/2010 7:35:11 PM

moose

Wouldnt it be a hoot if about 4000 people people asked for new babbles? Wonder if Kimmie would hold true to the purchase and mailing of them all.

"TRUE WORD OF GAWD babble". HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

9/5/2010 7:39:42 PM

shadkat

Fuck, does it even matter which fairy tale you read?

9/5/2010 7:39:43 PM

Zeus Almighty

I've never read more than a few NIV verses here and there.
But my gut feeling is that there's no way it could more crappily written than the KJV.

9/5/2010 7:50:13 PM



A Christian, burning Bibles, in the name of God; how amusingly ironic.

9/5/2010 7:50:13 PM

Street Sharks

KJB Only-ism makes not a drop of sense.

For more adventures in KJB Only wackiness......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ABDM9xneqo

9/5/2010 7:54:15 PM

Vince

The word of god.

Forever and unchanging.


27th edition.

9/5/2010 7:56:57 PM

Zoo

So putting the Bible in understandable English is an abomination now?

9/5/2010 7:59:37 PM

Dr. Razark

@Zoo
Edited for honesty:
"So... the Bible... is an abomination..."

That's better.

Seriously people, just admit that you're worshiping the book already.

9/5/2010 8:17:54 PM

Karana

Aw shit. They've been reading the 'wrong' version the entire time.So THAT'S why it's all bigoted,ignorant,cruel,imaginary, and ridiculous.
Well they've finally realized the mistake so they'll get right on that...

9/5/2010 8:27:07 PM

Allegory for Jesus

You NEED to read it in Ye ol' tyme speak or you will not be properly assimilated into medieval superstition!

To put your mind at ease, even if NIV is the most read version, the KJV has the most vocal and dedicated fandom of any version of this text that you call "Bieble" (I'm guessing it's a fanfic about a relationship between Justin Bieber and Michael Buble). Hopefully you can sleep at night knowing that the fundie equivalent of nerd rage heavily favors your side of this stupid, stupid debate.

9/5/2010 9:11:20 PM

Ken

From personal experience, nothing confuses children more than the King James Bible. On the plus side, it makes it hard for them to understand the gory and sexual stuff.

9/5/2010 9:16:13 PM

GodotIsWaiting4U

Fuck you and your backwards thinking. Translation methods have only improved with time.

9/5/2010 10:00:03 PM



No True Scotsman(TM)

9/5/2010 10:26:16 PM

WMDKitty

You're fucking crazy.

9/5/2010 10:32:48 PM

loki

Oh no, change! Only Satan would change. God would never allow any change to his slaves.

It's strange that one the main features of the original Protestant movement was that people should be able to read the bible in their own language to be understandable for the average person. In these days the 17th century translation that is the KJB is as unreadable (especially for those who have a very low degree of education) as what we have in my country (in the Netherlands) the state bible made in 1617. Some of the fundie protestant Christians here only want to read this one and condemn any other version.

9/5/2010 11:14:20 PM

pete

I guess that Kimmie never learned that King James was either homosexual or bisexual and had many male lovers. Considering Kimmie's fear of, and hatred for, homosexuals she had best do some homework.

9/5/2010 11:32:24 PM



Well, its better written, I'll give Kimmie that.

9/6/2010 12:19:16 AM

Doctor Fishcake

I can go one better! Send ME pictures of you destroying your NIV, and I'll send you a copy of The God Delusion. And what the heck, I'm feeling generous! I'll extend this offer to the KJV too!

9/6/2010 12:41:04 AM

meh

I thought these people were against "teh ghayz" maybe someone should tell them king james alleged lovers and watch them go nutz.
actually I think I would do that simply for the amusement

btw I think gay/bi people are awsome

9/6/2010 2:27:37 AM

Justanotheratheist

You do know that the bible wasn't actually written in English, don't you?

And thanks for the kind offer of a King James bible, but I already have a doorstop.

9/6/2010 3:03:26 AM

aaa

Why are you so fixated on that version?

9/6/2010 3:05:49 AM

David B.

But Kimmie, I looked into my NIV and it says it is the flawless word of God. And I know that's right because it says so in the bible.

9/6/2010 3:15:31 AM

The Jamo

Alright! A freebie! Too bad it's just a useless bible that I'd never read.

9/6/2010 3:29:45 AM
1 2 3