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Wipe your slobber off the keyboard and go away already, Chuckie.
7/15/2010 8:16:58 AM
Wait, Chuck Norris?! As in...?! *clicks link* Oh, wow.
Insert Chuck Norris joke here, I suppose!
7/18/2010 1:56:24 PM
I doubt very many fundies would be particularly happy if any discussion of the deist "Creator" referred to in the Declaration of Independence (which isn't binding law in the U.S. anyway, unlike the completely secular Constitution). Definitely closer to Spinoza than Scofield, and vague enough to satisfy even the atheists of the day.
7/18/2010 2:00:57 PM
@Shadkat: Chuck Norris has pretty much always been an ignorant hick. He once spouted some bullshit about it being time for the south to secede again because evolution was being taught in schools.
7/18/2010 2:06:45 PM
Chuck Norris - taken way too many hits to the head and is now batshit crazy!
7/18/2010 2:09:16 PM
I spent a summer in Texas. It sucked.
All the natives assumed I was overjoyed to be there because it obviously so much better than everywhere else, whether or not they had ever been anywhere else.
It was hot, humid, lousy with fire ants, and had garbage strewn about everywhere. But that Texas pride was unassailable.
If that's God's country, He's a slumlord.
Oh, and "Walker, Texas Ranger" sucked, too.
7/18/2010 2:15:40 PM
Don't mess with Texas, Don't fuck with Chuck.
I'm so glad the public schools in Texas meet the high standards of Walker, Texas Ranger. Whoop-dee-fuckin'-doo.
7/18/2010 2:18:45 PM
Chuck Norris you are just dumb.
7/18/2010 2:29:39 PM
Our Creators ranged from religious to anti-religious. But you'd know that if you had paid attention in school, wouldn't you?
7/18/2010 2:36:46 PM
Man Called True
And this is why I make Bill Brasky jokes. Fuck the overrated cowboy.
7/18/2010 2:47:44 PM
So you're proud that the children of Texas will receive a substandard education based on myths, superstitions, fairy tales and lies? Child abuse, pure and simple.
7/18/2010 2:52:25 PM
Ah yes Chucky, the B grade actor who now tries to sell the Total Gym or whatever it's called on infomercials at 3 am now. I guess he's a bigger idiot than I thought, I already knew that he was a creationist. Shame that he wants the quality of education to go down. Never understood how Norris got such a cult following to be honest when he is such a idiot.
7/18/2010 2:53:32 PM
Chuck Norris is so stupid, he doesn't fail an IQ test, he becomes a second-rate political pundit.
7/18/2010 2:55:40 PM
Jezebel's Evil Sister
And the great state of Mississippi thanks you.
(Now they have a chance to move up from dead last to #48 on the list of U.S. States with the Best Educational Systems.)
7/18/2010 3:03:00 PM
Chuck Norris never learned to swim because his family's gene pool was too small.
Chuck Norris once attempted round house kicking Jet Li. His leg broke when it connected with the television, then he fell and broke his hip.
Chuck Norris' brain cells cure cancer... too bad he doesn't have a brain.
Chuck Norris almost turned down the offer to make a cameo in the movie "Dodgeball" on the grounds that he doesn't like to dodge balls—he prefers to have them resting on his chin.
Chuck Norris' penis is so small that when he has an orgasm the sperm are released in a single file line.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is bullshit.
Chuck Norris attempted to count to infinity. Backwards. He didn't know where to start.
There is a double chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. No wonder he doesn't shave.
7/18/2010 3:03:11 PM
Here lately I have started to hate on Chuck Norris..he even called the modern American flag "blasphemous", and that Americans should hang "dont tread on me" flags up instead..he is a MAJOR backer of the tea party..in other words..he has decided to dork out.
7/18/2010 3:22:45 PM
Jesus may walk on water..but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
7/18/2010 3:23:22 PM
This is why I never bought into the Chuck Norris hype. That, and the fact that internet memes are repetition and annoyance masquerading as humor.
7/18/2010 3:27:25 PM
Chuckie boy, most people do not consider pride in WILLFUL ignorance a good thing.
7/18/2010 3:27:29 PM
There is no education, Only what Chuck Norris allows you to learn.
Sorry Chuckie...You sir a are a moron. Go back to making mindless movies and stay out of education and politics.
7/18/2010 3:32:34 PM
For example, while federal courts have banned educational options like intelligent design in biology, many who are involved in the curricula decision-making process in the Lone Star State believe there is a place for it somewhere in academia, if even in classes on government.
What the hell does intelligent design have to do with government? If someone told me that there was a worse place to teach ID than in science class I'd have laughed in their face, but here you are showing that there IS a worse place to teach it. That COMPLETELY violates the first amendment in the most blatant way possible.
If God were good enough for our founders and Creator-language important enough to be in pivotal documents like the Declaration of Independence
Except that the god they believed in was the Deist god who doesn't grant wish, doesn't watch people masturbate, in fact, he doesn't even give a shit about humans. Also, the US isn't based on the Declaration of Independence but on the Constitution.
why can't our kids be educated about that Creator from at least their original documents?
Fine, but you'll be surprised to learn that the founding fathers weren't talking about the Christian god but the Deist god.
Also Captain Falcon is totally manlier than Chuck Norris.
7/18/2010 3:33:14 PM
The current best joke of evangelical Christians, in my opinion, has to do with Chuck:
"I got saved watching an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger."
7/18/2010 3:34:20 PM
I say we establish a fund to help all the sane people move out of Texas and Alaska to somewhere their kids can get a quality, reality-based education.
7/18/2010 3:39:49 PM
Thankfully Chuck Norris jokes have passed their best before date. A long time ago.
7/18/2010 3:57:59 PM
I read about the afterlife
"If god were good enough for our founders"
First of all, I think it's "was." Secondly, if you look up Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin -- you'll find that God was certainly NOT good enough for them.
7/18/2010 4:07:04 PM
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