Quote# 72973

Example Four

Elizabeth was a smart liberal who knew she would be better off marrying a conservative than a liberal like herself. She found one in Stan, a conservative who was a very hard worker and who did not have the luxury of time to develop the social skills that Elizabeth had.

Stan's circle of friends and acquaintances were limited, and he thought all women were liberal. He married Elizabeth thinking that all women were liberal like her.

For the next thirty years Elizabeth censored Stan's conservative comments, interfered with his conservative activities, and caused problems for Stan at every political turn. But Stan thought all women were that way, and rarely complained.

Tragically, Elizabeth became sick and died. Stan then remarried, this time to a conservative woman whom he did not even realize existed. For the rest of his life Stan marveled at how different -- and better -- his life was.

Marry A Conservative, Conservapedia 110 Comments [5/18/2010 10:20:04 AM]
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t3h_fuhr3r

Amazing, you're telling someone to marry someone whose strong political views match your own? Who would have thought!
I'm surprised Stan's friends didn't say anything about her being a liberal witch though, isn't that what conservatives are for?

5/18/2010 10:24:16 AM



Weirdest article EVER.

5/18/2010 10:30:31 AM



Liberals are against censorship of thought. That's what the conservatives do

5/18/2010 10:34:12 AM

Doubting Thomas

Is it Elizabeth's fault that Stan was socially retarded? Or maybe she was "censoring" his conservative comments because his views were old-fashioned, backwards, sexist, racist, and just plain bigoted and she was embarrassed by what came out of his mouth.

5/18/2010 10:35:40 AM



Things I have learned from this article:

Liberals are smart.
Conservatives lack social skills.
Conservatives have few friends.

What an excellent publication.

5/18/2010 10:36:30 AM

AuraTwilight

So conservatives have no friends, are socially retarded, and are sexist?

...You really suck at this "here's why you should follow my opinion" thing.

5/18/2010 10:40:36 AM

Mister Spak

The moral of the story is conservatives don't know what's going on in the real world.

5/18/2010 10:43:04 AM

David D.G.

Sheesh, this reads like a political version of Fractured Fairy Tales, only without any redeeming wit, humor, or writing ability.


~David D.G.

5/18/2010 10:43:58 AM

GigaGuess

And Elizabeth is bad, not because she's a controlling shrew, but because she's a Liberal. And no CONSERVATIVE woman would bever act like such a bat, now would she...?

[EDIT] Oh wow, and this one was the mild one of the lot...

5/18/2010 10:48:53 AM

Lucilius

Thanks for admitting that conservatives are spineless dimwits.

5/18/2010 10:49:47 AM

Olivia

Oh man, you've got to read the rest of that article. This is merely "Example Four" in the "True Case Studies" section. Case studies! This one's my favorite:

Suzy was attractive, and promiscuous. Joe, a conservative, liked Suzy and was impressed by her ability to excel at a top college and even succeed at a good graduate school. Joe decided it did not matter if Suzy did not share his conservative values, and Joe married Suzy.

For the next 25 years Joe tried with Suzy to have children, without success. What caused the infertility can never be known with certainty, but it is known that about half of promiscuous people carry sexually transmitted diseases, and that these diseases can cause infertility.


Marry a liberal, and you'll end up like Joe: tragically saddled with an intelligent, attractive woman who has the gall to enjoy sex. But do like Suzy and marry a conservative, and maybe after twenty-five years of failing to save the marriage with baybeez, he'll submit your story to a right-wing website where they'll passive-aggressively imply that you're a barren, disease-ridden whore!

There's a citation for the "half of promiscuous people" claim and everything. It's a redirect to the homepage of a culture website about Tulsa, Oklahoma.

5/18/2010 10:57:36 AM

Esjeur

Unintentionally honest. Thank you.

5/18/2010 10:58:27 AM

Rumpshaker Slim

Sounds like Stan was so socially retarded that he married the first woman who showed the slightest intrest in him.

5/18/2010 10:58:52 AM

aaa

There is a reason why the world laughs at you, Schafly.

5/18/2010 11:08:07 AM

Phisshy

Now that is just irrational.

Why would that woman be more of a politician/activist towards her husband than being a sociable person in marriage relationship?

5/18/2010 11:09:20 AM

mad the swine

... this article has to be a parody. It just has to.

<i>Kate was a conservative woman who fell in love with Bill, a liberal man. Bill convinced her to marry him despite her parents strong objections. Ten years later, Kate began to suffer from strange bouts of lethargy and sickness. Several trips to the doctor were unable to find a cause, until he performed a blood test. It turned out that Kate had AIDS. She confronted Bill who admitted that he considered himself bisexual and had been involved in several homosexual affairs while married to Kate. He was tested as well, and also was HIV positive, but the disease had not progressed to AIDS. Kate divorced and is now forced to take a battery of medications to delay the inevitable. </i>

... Funny. I thought having a secret gay relationship while being married to a woman *was* a conservative value.

5/18/2010 11:11:42 AM

Quantum Mechanic

bullshit

5/18/2010 11:22:02 AM

DinosaurRidinJeebus

LOL?

Shouldn't this be on CSTDT?

5/18/2010 11:29:27 AM

Old Viking

And the winner of the Biggest Wimp of the Past Three Decades Contest is ...

5/18/2010 11:30:53 AM

BobsOldSocks

Is this the first entry in the new conservative bumper book of fairy tales? If this is the level they have to descend to to reach their fellow fascists then, thankfully, conservatism in the US is on its arse.

5/18/2010 11:39:08 AM

Unabashed

This is an excellent idea. Conservatives should begin massively inbreeding. Their homogeneous gene-pool will be selected out of existence (by EVOLUTION) in a few, short generations. Problem solved.

5/18/2010 11:39:37 AM

Unbeliever

The very existence of this article is a joke... Seems like a very poor attempt at advertizing themselves to the ladies.

5/18/2010 11:45:05 AM

Higgs Boson

I could say so much here but I don't have time to write an essay. All I'll say is this: WRONG USE OF THE WORD "WHOM"!

5/18/2010 11:53:29 AM

Jesus Christ Himself

I agree with those who consider this article very weird, even for fundyism.

5/18/2010 12:19:55 PM

Big Jilm

I'm so sick of this Phantom Liberal you doomsdayers keep tearing. You've demonized the term so much that it doesn't reflect reality of any human on the planet.

Oh and your story is BS. It's usually the conservative father figure who dies early, leaving his poor widow up shit creek w/o a paddle with her absence of job skills due to not ever having been allowed to work.

5/18/2010 12:21:06 PM

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