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Quote# 64909

Smiling with you all and waiting for our ride. Some of the cute remarks in this thread reminded me of what I tell my Wed night preschool class if anyone wants to know what Heaven will be like. I just smile, get in really close and say, " Heaven is prettier than glitter!" Oh the looks on their faces cannot be described. Big wide eyed wows and smiles from ear to ear.
I believe our white robes will be prettier than glitter, as well.
Personally don't care where I am when He comes for us either. Just come, Lord Jesus.

PurpleRobe, RaptureReady 56 Comments [8/19/2009 2:43:31 PM]
Fundie Index: 31
WTF?! || meh
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#1009086
John

I just smile, get in really close and say, "Heaven is prettier than glitter!"

And for fundie rednecks, I tell them they get a big-ass Ford 550 Supercab with the 7.3L Powerstroke diesel and a Confederate flag in the back window, and a wicked-looking pair of Smoker® exhaust stacks.

Oh the looks on their faces cannot be described. Big wide eyed wows and smiles from ear to ear.

Been there? Well, no - not actually been there. OK, I haven't actually seen the glitter or the truck. But I know it must be pretty cool. Otherwise, I'd be pretty stupid to be kissing Jesus' butt all these years. I mean, why would I be doing all this praying and Bible reading if I'm just going to die and not get anything out of it at the end? Well, sure Jesus knows I'm "saved" - He can telepathically read my mind, can't He? I mean He knows if I've been sleeping, He knows if I'm awake; He knows if I've been bad or good ... doesn't He? I mean, I'm important to Him, aren't I? I mean just because my damn dad cut out on us when I was seven doesn't mean God doesn't care about me. And sure, Jim Bob smacks me around a little when he's had a few beers, and we're a little behind on the Mastercard bill 'cuz the septic service company's laid him off for a few month, but I'm a faithful wife, and I'll get my reward in the end.

8/19/2009 6:55:08 PM
#1009091
EonBluetriad

And we'll all live in gingerbread houses on Lollipop Lane!

8/19/2009 7:04:07 PM
#1009130
Zoo

Well, glitter is a really awesome thing to preschoolers, anyway. On the other hand, I know a preschool teacher (as in a full-time public school teacher, not just a twice a week child-brainwasher) who talks to her friends sometimes like she does to her students out of habit, but, well, she doesn't -think- like them too.

8/19/2009 8:08:37 PM
#1009132
Vince

I can hear the brain washed death cult dripping out of this psycho.

pretty damn scary.


when we all die on mass and go off to the happy place they'll be nice shinny things. isn't that wonderful children, yaaaaaay!

8/19/2009 8:08:58 PM
#1009147
Dr. Gus

Sure, imaginary things can be prettier than glitter.
And she'll wait and wait and die of old age and she will never get her "ride".

8/19/2009 8:34:09 PM
#1009175


glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.

8/19/2009 9:08:13 PM
#1009178


Gay

8/19/2009 9:15:05 PM
#1009184
Iczer-04

Glitter is icky! Nature is much nicer..

8/19/2009 9:20:31 PM
#1009206
nintendofreakgcn

Well, I really hope heaven is better than glitter, because glitter sucks.

8/19/2009 10:06:25 PM
#1009212
aaa

It seems that little kids are impressedby silly words.

8/19/2009 10:21:32 PM
#1009234
DaMentalFunism

Nothing is prettier than glitter. You are lying.

8/19/2009 11:06:48 PM
#1009237
Brian X

Low standards there.

8/19/2009 11:14:17 PM
#1009265


And then Barney the Dinosaur tells us how important is to share. I saw it coming.

8/19/2009 11:50:46 PM
#1009277


Heaven - prettier than glitter.

Which is good, because Paul Gadd is an ugly son of a bitch.

8/20/2009 12:08:41 AM
#1009279
solomongrundy

Why did I get a mental image of Tubbs Tattsyrup when I read this?

8/20/2009 12:16:07 AM
#1009304
Woody

So your premise is, that if a child smiles at your comments then what you said them is true/impressive?

So when children are told that Santa is coming and they smile and get exited, then this is proof Santa exists? Oh, and when was it established as fact that your robes will be white and is glitter the best thing you can imagine? Jeez, that is sad.

8/20/2009 1:07:49 AM
#1009309
speccy4i

@ solomongrundy

Because you're finally becoming local, like the rest of us?

8/20/2009 1:36:39 AM
#1009317
GodotIsWaiting4U

This is begging for a semen joke, but I just can't get it to come out.

8/20/2009 1:59:31 AM
#1009348
MysticalChicken

@1009175 God dammit, I wanted to quote that!

(I love Demetri Martin)

8/20/2009 4:01:16 AM
#1009353
Xotan

An abuse of young minds, promising things about which the promiser has no personal certainty!

8/20/2009 4:17:46 AM
#1009392
Porky Pine

Heaven sounds really gay.

Is Liberache God with Rip Taylor as his son?

8/20/2009 6:25:09 AM
#1009406
Eden

You sound like you aren´t much more adult than the kids in your preschool class ;)

8/20/2009 6:54:11 AM
#1009416
Mister Spak

Your preschool class believes this because they're tiny tots. What's your excuse?

8/20/2009 7:14:46 AM
#1009421
Anon-e-moose

"I believe our white robes will be prettier than glitter"

Sounds faaaaabulous, ducky.

"I just smile, get in really close and say, " Heaven is prettier than glitter!" Oh the looks on their faces cannot be described"
"Personally don't care where I am when He comes for us either. Just come, Lord Jesus"



My Gaydar is registering OVER 9000 in your case. Time to come out of that closet, sweetie?

@GodotIsWaiting4U

"This is begging for a semen joke, but I just can't get it to come out."

See above. Rather like a submarine - long, hard & full of them. Oh, and furthermore:


8/20/2009 7:26:59 AM
#1009444
Chancellor Gorkon

Stop lying to little kids.

8/20/2009 8:29:17 AM
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