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Quote# 61831

So, I'm sitting here in Iowa, watching the local nightly news.

First story, an overview of all the "happy" gay couples who were married in my state today.

Second story, the ever increasing spreading of the swine flu.

Third story, damage assessment of the tornadoes that struck nearby counties last night.

These people are staring Biblical prophecies straight in the face and remain completely clueless, and it really concerns me.

I would love for the rapture to occur at any time, but at the same time I have no desire to leave any one here in this world when the time comes to depart.

What's a believer to do? Time to get on my knees.

Faulty, RR 76 Comments [4/29/2009 1:54:20 PM]
Fundie Index: 50
WTF?! || meh
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#948557
Headache

These people are staring Biblical prophecies straight in the face and remain completely clueless, and it really concerns me.

Nothing strange about any of this.
This is the time of the year for tornado forming, I'm sure you have a firm grasp of the concept of hot moist air from the Mexican Gulf flowing up and meeting cold dry air coming down from Canada? Happens every year.

H1N1 and other variants like H1N5 will surface from time to time and evolve into more resistant strains. Nothing new or unexpected here.

Happy gay couples? Yeah that is a nightmare, we don't want people to be happy, do we?

What's a believer to do? Time to get on my knees.

Ready for sex, as always! Good fundie!

4/29/2009 1:57:45 PM
#948564
Paschal Wagner

Which is why the swine flu is in Mexico...? Is God's aim really that bad?

4/29/2009 2:06:38 PM
#948565
Corwin

*ziiiiip* Yes, on your knees!

4/29/2009 2:07:50 PM
#948569


"Which is why the swine flu is in Mexico...? Is God's aim really that bad?"
God has the aim of a Stormtrooper. A *drunk* Stormtrooper...

4/29/2009 2:09:07 PM
#948570
JSS

Three events that have no relation whatsoever. You sure proved your god's wrath for homosexuality!

You guys dislike Obama so much. Maybe his election is part of God's wrath towards the fundies for the enaction of Prop 8 in California.

4/29/2009 2:09:24 PM
#948575
Doctor Whom

First story, an overview of all the "happy" gay couples who were married in my state today.

Nice use of quotation marks there. They only think they're happy; you know better.

Second story, the ever increasing spreading of the swine flu.

Only in places that have allowed same-sex marriage.

Third story, damage assessment of the tornadoes that struck nearby counties last night.

Tornadoes were completely unknown in the Midwest before.

4/29/2009 2:16:45 PM
#948579
EvoPagan

Gays, disease and weather have always been with us. Giving Jesus a blow job isn't going to change anything.

4/29/2009 2:20:11 PM
#948580
EonBlueTriad

Tornadoes in the Midwest?? What next, hurricanes in Florida?

4/29/2009 2:22:51 PM
#948584


"So, I'm sitting here in Iowa..."

And right there and then, I knew this would be from RR...

4/29/2009 2:31:19 PM
#948587
Zeus Almighty

So, before gays got married in Iowa there were never tornados there and there was no flu virus? Oh, there were ... So you were saying?

"Time to get on my knees."

Oh yeah, who are you blowing?

4/29/2009 2:37:31 PM
#948589
lolwut?

"What's a believer to do? Time to get on my knees."

That's a good fundie. Get on your knees and swallow that Jesus juice that your preacher rams down your throat. Remember Gagging means your not embracing that Jesus load.

4/29/2009 2:41:26 PM
#948590
Tiger

I can only assume that you're getting on your knees because peace and love won out over your bigotry, which means you can suck it.

4/29/2009 2:44:51 PM
#948592
Blue J

So, was the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic part of end-times prophecy too? How about the Black Death? People thought that that was a sign of the end of the world too.

@Pashal Wagner:

God's punishment system is kind of like the teacher who makes all of the kids stay in detention until they rat out the one who stole all the erasers; God starts punishing people haphazardly until they get together and destroy everyone who's making God angry.

4/29/2009 2:45:03 PM
#948595
D Laurier.

Get on your knees boy, Theres a preachers dick waiting to be sucked.

4/29/2009 2:48:40 PM
#948599
Moondog

These guys blamed Hurricane Katrina (a hurricane in the Gulf?) and Santa Ana winds on the wrath of God. What next, an earthquake in California? Mt. Redoubt, a volcano in Alaska? A miserable New England winter?

4/29/2009 2:52:13 PM
#948601
IanC

Of course they aren't happy, are they? Its all a lie, put on by the angry gays just to piss you off!

4/29/2009 2:56:29 PM
#948605
wackadoodle

Tornadoes in the midwest and the media hyping a new plague? HOW UNIQUE AND UNPRECEDENTED, OBVIOUSLY THESE NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE THOSE DAMN GAYS RUINED EVERYTHING!

4/29/2009 3:02:07 PM
#948607
Osirs

Tornadoes in Idaho? That's never happened before!

4/29/2009 3:02:51 PM
#948608
wotty

Time to get on your knees... and suck a hard one in a public toilet?

Oh, you meant praying. Well, gays are still getting married and neither swine flu nor tornadoes have vanished. Your prayers don't seem to have any effect... it's almost like there's nobody listening to them. Yeah.

4/29/2009 3:03:35 PM
#948610
Illuminatalie

Innuendo ftw!

4/29/2009 3:03:53 PM
#948611
Clare

And suck it.

;)

4/29/2009 3:04:43 PM
#948630


"What's a believer to do? Time to get on my knees."

*Unzips*

4/29/2009 3:24:11 PM
#948632
WMDkitty

So happy newlyweds, a new strain of Influenza, and a few tornadoes are signs of The End...

And here I thought that was society taking a step forward, evolution in action, and, well, dude, they're tornadoes -- not exactly uncommon.

4/29/2009 3:26:48 PM
#948633
Dale

"Time to get on my knees."

Yes it is, to suck my huge cock into rapture oblivion.

You know you want to.

4/29/2009 3:28:43 PM
#948638
Amanda

Are you suggesting that the gay couples that get married aren't happy? Why wouldn't they be?

4/29/2009 3:34:49 PM
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