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Quote# 61517

No need to watch the news, I've got a bible.

Hypothetical conversation between a friend and I:

Hey, did you hear the news, asks the friend. Yeah, we talked about it yesterday in church, I reply. But, that's impossible, this just happened today! How could you have talked about this yesterday if it happened today, he exclaims. Well you see, it's all written right here in this bible, I answer with a smile.

Fair and balanced


brownbear, Rapture Ready 96 Comments [4/18/2009 4:11:40 AM]
Fundie Index: 110
WTF?! || meh
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1 2 3 4
#941337
Tom S. Fox

Okay, what will happen tomorrow?

4/17/2009 10:30:38 AM

#941520
WMDKitty

::facepalm::

No.

4/17/2009 6:24:36 PM

#941675
arcturus

"fair and balanced"

yeah, just like fox news. Who trademarked the phrase, to stop anyone else being able to say they are fair and balanced.

4/18/2009 4:14:05 AM

#941676
Philbert McAdamia

your hypothetical friend.

4/18/2009 4:16:08 AM

#941677
darn

O, please, can you look up for me what the stock markets are going to do on monday ?

4/18/2009 4:17:49 AM

#941683
Captain Britannica

Well, which chapter are tomorrows football results in, then? I thought I might put a bet on.

4/18/2009 4:41:56 AM

#941684
atheist crusader

cool so what are tonights national lottery numbers?

4/18/2009 4:47:17 AM

#941687
The Jamo

You would not know it, but the bible actually contains all of the statistical stock market information up until the rapture. IT'S TRUE!!!

4/18/2009 5:04:30 AM

#941692
Mister Spak

"Hypothetical conversation between a friend and I in 1980:

Hey, did you hear the news, asks the friend. Yeah, we talked about it yesterday in church, I reply. But, that's impossible, this just happened today! How could you have talked about this yesterday if it happened today, he exclaims. Well you see, it's all written right here in this bible, I answer with a smile."

Hypothetical conversation between a friend and I in 1960:

Hey, did you hear the news, asks the friend. Yeah, we talked about it yesterday in church, I reply. But, that's impossible, this just happened today! How could you have talked about this yesterday if it happened today, he exclaims. Well you see, it's all written right here in this bible, I answer with a smile.

"Hypothetical conversation between a friend and I in 1840:

Hey, did you hear the news, asks the friend. Yeah, we talked about it yesterday in church, I reply. But, that's impossible, this just happened today! How could you have talked about this yesterday if it happened today, he exclaims. Well you see, it's all written right here in this bible, I answer with a smile."

"Hypothetical conversation between a friend and I in 1611:

Hey, didst thou hearest the news, asks the friend. Yeah, we talkethed about it yesterday in church, I didst reply. But, that's impossible, this just happenedeth today! How couldst you have talkethed about this yesterday if it happenedeth today, he exclaimeth. Well you see, it's all written right here in this bible, I answer with a smile."

Fundies, smiling the smile of idiocy across the ages.

4/18/2009 5:30:00 AM

#941694


So, when you get up in the morning, you look out the window and expect to see Romans?...And goats?

Bragging about a having a closed mind doesn't make you sound smart, bear.

4/18/2009 5:35:09 AM

#941696
solomongrundy

If the RaptureReadyites are so sure it's all in the Bible how come none of them are billionaires? They all seem to be in dead-end jobs that they keep losing because a black man's POTUS.

4/18/2009 5:38:31 AM

#941699
HeathenAngel

So basically, the answer is "No", then? You haven't a clue as to what's going on in the world? Shocking... no, really. </sarc>

4/18/2009 5:42:57 AM

#941700
Amanda

Let's see what's in the Toronto Star today.
"Woman, 22, shot during Danforth bar fight"
So this is in your bible??

4/18/2009 5:43:10 AM

#941706
Mudak

If I were brownbear's hypothetical "friend," (a term he apparently takes very liberally, which is ironic in and of itself), I can reasonably state that I've had more meaningful conversations with a wall.

4/18/2009 5:48:44 AM

#941710
aaa

Try having a real conversation for a change. And no, adding a slogan doesn't make you smarter.

4/18/2009 5:53:55 AM

#941713
EvoPagan

Lying is fair and balanced now?

4/18/2009 6:07:26 AM

#941714


So said to my friend "use speech marks, twat"

4/18/2009 6:07:46 AM

#941715


So said to my friend "use speech marks, twat"

4/18/2009 6:07:48 AM

#941716
bear4bear

Hi, brownbear! I too am a tanned, hairy, bearded gay man. Can we be friends?

Oh, come on. Don't say you didn't know...

4/18/2009 6:11:28 AM

#941717
Doctor Whom

There's a reason why it's a hypothetical conversation rather than one that actually took place. By the way, would you do me a favor and ask the folks at church on Sunday where Monday's big traffic tie-ups will be? Thanks.

4/18/2009 6:13:23 AM

#941721
clockworkgirl21

I thought God said looking into the future was evil.

4/18/2009 6:20:30 AM

#941725
The Lazy One

Great! Can you tell me what's going to be on my exam on Monday?

4/18/2009 6:29:14 AM

#941727
D Laurier.

Blithering idiocy from the rapture retards

4/18/2009 6:36:58 AM

#941728
Swedish Pagan

So why did you not warn people from getting into those planes, and going to work in WTC that morning in September 2001?

And, you ought to know exactly when this illusive rapture is going to happen.

Or is it just average everyday news; war here and there, people dying of starvation, people being unemployed, a storm here, an earthquake there... Yeah, I can look into the future too. Tomorrow people will die of gunshot wounds in Afganistan and in New York. GWB will say something stupid.

4/18/2009 6:38:12 AM

#941730
ausador

Christianity, where ignorance is a virtue.

Sigh...

4/18/2009 6:42:21 AM
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