Here's what I've learned from my sources.
Both Satan and Christ have incarnated on Earth a while ago. The rule
of Hell is left to Satan's son, Santanas. Who I have had the displeasure
of meeting personally in his lair, the 5th circle of Hell. He tortured my
soul.. for what seemed ages, before I was rescued. Luckily the memory
of the actual pain that was caused to me, was erased from my mind. I
was returned to my body after my rescuers broke the chains that held
However, the Christ that has incarnated on Earth, is not the same Jesus
Christ from 2000 years ago, it is a different soul, but with the same
strength, the same abilities and probably even more.. because the battle
that is going to be fought in 2012, between the Christ and His forces, and
Satan and His forces, will be unlike anything this planet has ever seen.
Wehali, Above Top Secret 102 Comments
[4/2/2009 12:38:02 PM]
Fundie Index: 92
Submitted By: ausador
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Tolle Corpus Santani!
...well that's how I always heard it sung.
4/3/2009 12:01:18 AM
sounds like a bad shroom/lsd trip to me...
4/3/2009 12:01:28 AM
Oye como va, que loco...
4/3/2009 1:23:06 AM
lay off the LSD sweetie
4/3/2009 2:33:09 AM
Shite, sounds like somebody's off his meds.
4/3/2009 4:09:00 AM
4/3/2009 4:40:47 AM
I shouldn't be saying this as it is a breech of copyright - but I found a leak on the internet regarding the new Christ.
Apparently compared to the previous Christ, he comes with a +2 to Strength & Toughness, he may cast up to 2 additional spells per turn and has a 3+ Ward save. So he can land 6 S6 attacks per turn - 7 attacks if you equip him with an extra hand weapon! Nerfed!
4/3/2009 4:51:26 AM
We are well, well overdue for a "Schizophrenia is so sad" macro.
4/3/2009 5:29:25 AM
You know, WOW isn't actually a religion...
I love how the fundies are hopping on the 2012 bandwagon now. Since when did any of them give a dry fart about Mayan prophecy?
4/3/2009 6:02:59 AM
I'll bring the popcorn.
4/3/2009 6:09:21 AM
Cool story bro.
4/3/2009 8:26:30 AM
OMG! are you seriously going to reference Dante's Inferno with the circles of Hell? FOR CHRIST'S SAKE HE WAS MAKING FUN OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH AND CONDEMNING IT'S CORRUPTION! idiot. Don't be an information spurter if you're not one hundred percent sure of what you're referencing.
4/3/2009 10:27:36 AM
I like Santanas. He's a good guitar player.
4/3/2009 8:31:39 PM
LOL-deluxe... Another nutcase forecasting the rapture... Maybe you should get together with Homer Simpson and check his rapture-math, it's probably going to be about as accurate as yours...
4/4/2009 9:33:20 PM
What the fuck?
4/4/2009 11:25:01 PM
Sounds cool, I'm looking forward to it coming out on DVD.
4/9/2009 2:46:13 AM
and santana, the guitar guy?
and one too many supernatural episodes watched late at night.
and a LOT of either LSD or schizophrenia.
when they come together, you get this.
4/19/2009 3:30:53 PM
Christian, but not extremist
So what were your sources pulled from? Your butt?
4/27/2009 4:59:05 PM
Without Dante's Inferno Christianity would have died out ages ago because, God Damn It!, it's so boring.
6/7/2009 1:55:50 AM
Ain't gonna happen! Believeth me, I KNOW! /Booming Voice (TM) off
6/7/2009 2:04:56 AM
Satan had a crap ton of spawn in the Christian Mythology, and none of them were named "Satanas". If anything, hell would have been left in the control of his queen, Lilith, or Beelzebub, for Christ sakes . Fail.
(Just saying if you are going to write something about the mythology, at least get it right)
7/24/2009 8:10:32 PM
Might I ask why you were wandering around in the fifth level of hell?
And I call Poe on this one, it's too obvious.
8/9/2009 4:24:19 PM
That's a valid question right here -
Why the hell isn't anyone making any comedy christian movies about the apocalypse? I mean like I've seen Dogma, but like a Devil-Jesus Royale would be in for some epic lulz.
8/9/2009 4:48:10 PM
Either high on something spectacular, completely insane, or making shit up. Or all three.
8/9/2009 5:35:43 PM
Carlos Santanas? I loved his album Supernatural.
9/16/2009 10:33:00 AM
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