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#924936
Whitleylad
"Amanda
So you don't believe in gravity? What do you thinking is holding you on the ground? Love? "
Why it's obvious, it's the FSM's noodly appendages. RAmen
3/17/2009 6:13:31 AM
#924941
Doctor Fishcake
3/17/2009 6:34:12 AM
#924942
Kristy
At least we know why Jesus isn't healing amputees now - he is too busy making sure we all don't float away. :)
3/17/2009 6:38:18 AM
#924943
night
Jesus = gravity now?
Wat.
3/17/2009 6:41:32 AM
#924945
19day
Isaac should have picked the apple up and thrown it back at Jesus then?
3/17/2009 6:47:40 AM
#924946
Idgas
The earth sucks there is no gravity.
3/17/2009 6:59:52 AM
#924948
Grigadil
Waitaminute -- these goobs are plagiarizing The Onion now?
3/17/2009 7:18:10 AM
#924949
Gunderscored
I don't believe in fundies. I think they're all poe's (poeses? poesi?). No one can possibly believe any of those god stories. I mean, seriously...have you ever seen a catholic mass? You cannot tell me that anyone, not even (especially) the pedophile priest, believes any of that. Deep down in their hearts, each and every person professing some belief in a sky daddy, knows that it's not real. They're just too afraid to say it out loud.
3/17/2009 7:22:33 AM
#924951
raindrops
If physics can only be as simple as your mind, maybe... just maybe you could be right.
3/17/2009 7:28:26 AM
#924960
EvoPagan
@jroyals,
There's a quote on the old site (FSTDT.com) that says there's no such thing as gravity, just the effects of sin weighing us and everything else down.
3/17/2009 7:51:57 AM
#924961
breakerslion
That's nice. Now, why don't you draw mommy something nice with your crayons?
3/17/2009 8:00:24 AM
#924965
Philbert McAdamia
this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus...
Well, that settles that, then, no need to look further, answers it all for me.
Paradigm. Hmm, ooh ooh, I know = 20¢
3/17/2009 8:14:46 AM
#924966
enna
Um no
3/17/2009 8:24:10 AM
#924972
John_in_Oz
Jesus is the force that powers your wife's vibrator, the murderer's muscle and the sodomites hormones?
Well if you say so...
3/17/2009 8:56:47 AM
#924974
Dio Fa
<insert Star Wars joke here>
3/17/2009 9:21:04 AM
#924975
Headache
POE or incredibly stupid?
It's actually hard to tell, there is really no distinction.
3/17/2009 9:26:37 AM
#924977
Brain_In_A_Jar
This is second only to that chump we had who tried to work string theory into a metaphor about fabrics.
3/17/2009 9:33:51 AM
#924978
Erisie
There is a Chick tract, "Big Daddy", which says exactly that, that nuclear forces are a product of Jesus, so the post isn't that much of a Poe.
Either way, the dumbness...
3/17/2009 10:02:52 AM
#924982
Atheist in a foxhole
*Cough*BULLSHIT*Cough*
3/17/2009 10:20:37 AM
#924984
Jeff Weskamp
I declare Poe on this one since I read that in an onion article. -- God Is Real Etc.
Actually, I have heard this before. Some Fundies claim that a certain verse in Colossians (can't remember which one) implies that Jesus is the force keeping all matter in the universe together. The concept may have appeared in an Onion article, but there are Fundies who do believe this.
3/17/2009 10:26:21 AM
#924986
BobsOldSocks
..."and so-called 'force of gravity'..."
Heretic! Everyone knows it's Intelligent Falling.
3/17/2009 10:31:22 AM
#924990
Jedi Blackvoice
I'm afraid not.
3/17/2009 11:11:06 AM
#924993
Mrs. Antichrist
But if gravity is the weight of sin, wouldn't it be the Satan force? Is the universal constant 666?
3/17/2009 11:26:59 AM
#924996
Old Viking
Lame.
3/17/2009 11:43:47 AM
#924999
Osiris
Physicists have known about electron bonds for quite some time now.
3/17/2009 11:47:30 AM
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