Quote# 58357

Last night, two individuals came to the church needing deliverance, both received some liberation. In fact, the one lady, named Tina (whom many of you know), was freed from over two thousand demonic spirits named "Jezebeth." They had entered as a result of some ancient Satanic oaths that were uttered in the past. They were within an dissociative identity named "Nataley" who is only 19 years old. But the great power of God overcame the enemy--as it only took an hour to expel 2002 spirits from the identity as the broken part turned to Jesus and renounced the spiritual rights.

God is so merciful!

Jay Bartlett, Ministering Deliverance 45 Comments [2/10/2009 4:53:26 AM]
Fundie Index: 7

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Porky Pine

2000 demons all named Jezebeth? Someone needs to point these demons to a random name generator if they can't think of different names for themselves.

2/10/2009 4:56:48 AM

a mind far far away

Too much Bob Larsen, I see. Wow, 2000 spirits, all named Jezebeth. Satan has really got to pay his writers more. Or get better ones. What ever happened to Mephistopheles, or Leviathan, or Beelzebub? Those were the good ones. If exorcisms weren't so fucking dangerous, this would be laughable.

2/10/2009 4:56:52 AM

Blue J

So, crazy people reinforcing each other's psychoses. That sounds healthy.

2/10/2009 4:58:34 AM

ClockworkBunny

Hey, it only took an hour! One-hour exorcisms, while you wait.

2/10/2009 4:59:33 AM

DaMentalFunism

You're bonkers.

2/10/2009 5:04:25 AM



this is exactly the kind of attitude they had hundreds of years ago towards mentally ill people, and it is not healthy. this kind of ignorance and prejudice in this day and age is infuriating.

i can't believe he thinks multiple personality (somehow no longer a disorder) is caused by demons.

2/10/2009 5:09:03 AM

Clown

Tina and Nataley?! Did I get this right? A girl named Tina entered your church. Then you did exorcism, not on her but on her second personality Nataley (which is in the same body!) and Nataley threw up 2000 to 2002 demons(you couldn't count all the chunky and crunchy parts) named Jezebel. Whatever drugs you are taking, either double the dose or stop taking them!

2/10/2009 5:11:43 AM

Potentate Argyros of the Gaystapo

Ya know Jay, you really need to stop hosing people like that. Some of these people need psychological help, not some loon screaming for imaginary demons to come out.

2/10/2009 5:17:07 AM

Antichrist

2000 demons all with the same name? Damn that must be really confusing.

2/10/2009 5:17:21 AM

gremlinn

Maybe what really happened is that they tied her up and beat her, counting the number of times she said "Jesus!" (2002 times)

2/10/2009 6:18:21 AM

Observable Reality

So demons are like the Q-Continuum. I imagine it gets a little confusing after awhile.

2/10/2009 6:24:39 AM

aaa

I see you are doing well in your snake oil business.

2/10/2009 6:38:40 AM

werewolf

And I am sure you had a counter handy.

Would 2003 demons taken more than an hour? How about 2050? Hour and a half, maybe?

Does having the same name for 2000 demons help the exorcism? If so, you'd think each demon would grab a unique name from Google. After all, these demons would have had centuries to pick out a name for themselves.

Could we also say, with great certainty, that you're either a baldfaced liar or on drugs? Or both?

Inquiring minds want to know.

2/10/2009 6:50:18 AM

Mike

Making shit up again are you?

2/10/2009 7:05:38 AM

Psittacosis

Charlatan. You ought to be locked up for abusing mentally ill people.

2/10/2009 7:30:38 AM

ausador

Is this christism or scientology?....sounds like you "cleared" her of body "thetans" to me.

WTF...possessed by 2000 demon spirits wut?

You are either certifiably insane or a con artist, or possibly both.

2/10/2009 7:33:39 AM



"Last night, two individuals came to the church needing deliverance"

Jon Voight & Burt Reynolds??

2/10/2009 10:31:57 AM

Valheru

I smell a fundie circle-jerk.

Excorcised demon body counts are the new measure of Jesus Power (tm)

2/10/2009 10:35:33 AM

God

Jay Bartlett's brain is a waste of carbon.

2/10/2009 10:38:57 AM

Pule Thamex

All demons are stupid and complete arseholes, and they can all fuck off.

2/10/2009 10:43:54 AM

Dman

Excuse my possibly stupid question, Mr. Bartlett... but how exactly do you know how many ebil demons were in these people?! Is there some sort of counter I dont know about?

2/10/2009 11:01:23 AM

Illuminatalie

I want to buy a license for my pet bee, Jezebeth.

2/10/2009 11:40:45 AM

Brain_In_A_Jar

Right, Jay, you released two thousand demons. Did you have some kind of machine set up to accurately count them? or are you just compulsively lying as usual? "I exorcised two thousand demons! I invented penicillin! I'm god's favourite! I've got a car made out of cheese that I fly to Saturn at the weekends!"

2/10/2009 11:42:49 AM

Joules

Oh, I don't know - Jezebeth is quite a cute name...


2/10/2009 12:03:57 PM

ToEtheline

Clockworkbunny

"Hey, it only took an hour! One-hour exorcisms, while you wait. "

Collect your photo for $50 on the way out

2/10/2009 12:33:53 PM

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