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#756581
Classic
The weird things that happen with an omnipotent god and a finitely-potent nemesis power.
11/8/2008 8:06:50 PM
#756584
Jezebel's Evil Sister
And, I'd say this god you speak of is a real jerk.
11/8/2008 8:07:37 PM
#756591
M.M.
Also, Satan can't attack anyone without God's permission
lol wut? Even by fundie standards, this doesn't make sense at all.
11/8/2008 8:10:43 PM
#756594
Also, Satan can't attack anyone without God's permission
So all the evil in the world stems from God?
11/8/2008 8:13:04 PM
#756596
Malkavian Jeff
"Also, Satan can't attack anyone without God's permission"
God is working with Satan? So why trust God? He sounds like a bigger asshole than Satan.
11/8/2008 8:14:15 PM
#756602
Slayer
Wow, that is pretty fucked up. I just wonder how people that believe this stuff can justify it in their minds.
11/8/2008 8:18:02 PM
#756605
JewBoy
@M.M.
Actually, that's a very common fundy assertion. They usually cite the book of Job as proof.
11/8/2008 8:19:12 PM
#756621
John
If something bad happened, it's Satan or else it's God testing you. It's never "God doesn't really give a rat's butt about what happens to you."
11/8/2008 8:26:27 PM
#756636
MK
"Satan doesn't attack those that he doesn't see as a threat. Also, Satan can't attack anyone without God's permission"
Anyone else see the neck-breaking contradiction here?
11/8/2008 8:34:52 PM
#756638
HoJuSimpson
yeah just more reasons I do not believe in Yahweh the tyrant.
@ MK, yup. Satan only attacks whatever he sees as a threat yet cannot get through unless Goddy boy lets him. Makes perfect sense..
11/8/2008 8:36:11 PM
#756647
Alright enough with the stupidity and making shit up. Where in the holy hell does it say in the Bible that God and Satan are in cahoots and "God has to give permission" for Satan to tempt someone? Let me guess it's the same place in the Bible as the word "Rapture"?PS For you RR people who don't read the Bible, but lie about it, that's NOWHERE in the Bible!
11/8/2008 8:42:57 PM
#756672
Old Viking
Fundy Rule 712(b):
Whenever you encounter gross stupidity in any form, agree with it and do all that you can to reinforce it.
11/8/2008 8:55:25 PM
#756676
aaa
More untreated mental illness, woo!
11/8/2008 8:57:56 PM
#756687
Brian X
"Would you tell Jesus to please STOP kissing me?"
11/8/2008 9:05:12 PM
#756689
anonymous
Why does God always abuse His followers like this?
11/8/2008 9:06:15 PM
#756779
Horsefeathers
"[For the last few weeks I feel as if I am being attacked {...} there are things that haven't entered my mind in years that are popping in on me. {...} For some reason Satan seems to be on me constantly.]"
Sounds like years of cognitive dissonance and repressed feelings, likely of a sexual nature, have caught up to you.
/armchair psychology
"You should be happy. Satan doesn't attack those that he doesn't see as a threat. Also, Satan can't attack anyone without God's permission, so I'd say God is allowing it to work his perfecting of you."
You people just make up anything, don't you?
11/8/2008 10:09:57 PM
#756788
myheadhurts
Beware of god's loving attention: it might not kill you but you'll wish you were dead.
11/8/2008 10:16:19 PM
#756944
a mind far far away
Things that make you say...WHA?
11/9/2008 12:17:07 AM
#756999
Shadoboy
Wow, now the fear of God thing makes sense... he works with Satan!
11/9/2008 12:58:53 AM
#757016
SuperId
Satan doesn't attack those that he doesn't see as a threat.
Ahhh, so that's why it's usually the theists who go around doing all sorts of messed up stuff; it is actually that darned "Satan" making them do that. And that's exactly why atheists are usually living lawful, peaceful, productive and socially responsible lives, because Satan knows they are damned anyways so what's really the point in making them do bad things, right?
And here's the fun part; in the end all the murdering, raping, cheating, lying, evil, corrupt bastard theists would get to eventually go to heaven because they gave God what even an omnipotent being apparently can't do without; recognition, plus of course an ass-kissing of a lifetime. As for the atheists, well, we are put eternally in a lake of fire despite living a decent and honest life by this divinity who seemingly has a depth of personality on par with your average supermodel. I must say the world sometimes seems rather cramped when one has to knowingly share it with billions of such crazies, yeesh.
11/9/2008 1:07:05 AM
#757024
Cap'n Mel
Your god is a real douchebag.
11/9/2008 1:10:35 AM
#757052
so does god and satan get together and have a meeting?
11/9/2008 1:33:09 AM
#757054
Godbuster
So, god's Dr. Venture and Satan is Sergeant Hate.
Hate : "Oh, boy, looks like we're gonna have to go full nerf on this guy!"
11/9/2008 1:35:48 AM
#757089
Allegory for Jesus
You know your worldview is messed up when you explain every bad thing in your life as 1. the product of an evil agency that 2. wouldn't be occurring if you weren't good enough for its attention and 3. is occuring with the permission of the supposedly good entity that you are supposedly in good favor of. Sounds like a recipe for a BDSM fetish...
11/9/2008 2:45:12 AM
#757186
Philbert McAdamia
there are things that haven't entered my mind in years
You should stop right there.
11/9/2008 3:43:22 AM
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