I think [Jesus] wouldn't endorse gay marriage,
"It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but it is what comes out of the mouth that defiles... what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this is what defiles, for out of the heart comes evil intentions, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander; these are what defile a person, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile." (Matthew 15:10, 18-20)
wouldn't want higher taxes,
Tell us therefore, What thinkest Thou? Is it Lawful to give tribute unto Caesar, or not?
But Jesus perceived their wickedness, and said, Why tempt ye Me, ye hypocrites?
Shew Me the tribute money. And they brought unto Him a coin.
And He saith unto them, Whose is this image and superscription?
They say unto Him, Caesar's. Then saith He unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things that are God's.
When they had heard these words, they marvelled, and left Him, and went their way. (Matt 22:15-22)
wouldn't want illegal immigration,
Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.(1 Peter 4:9)
wouldn't want abortion on demand,
"And if men struggle with each other and strike a woman with child so that she has a miscarriage, yet there is no further injury, he shall surely be fined as the woman's husband may demand of him; and he shall pay as the judges decide. "But if there is any further injury, then you shall appoint as a penalty life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, (Exodus 21:22-24)
wouldn't want the country to have a weak defense,
You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. (Matt 5:38-42)
wouldn't want Iranians to take over Iraq,
Ok, you got me there, but IMO Jesus wouldn't want anybody invading anyone else.
wouldn't approve of socialism,
"But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward in heaven will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men." ( Luke 6:35)
and the list goes on.
Pwned by uh... Jesus himself. Yay.