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Aw. They make such hilarious hash of their own tiny minds when messy reality collides with their fantasies.
8/27/2008 4:30:10 PM
Wow, I never thought to stop and consider the plight of conjoined twins come The Rapture(TM). Does that make me sane????
8/27/2008 4:30:52 PM
Onan the Barbarian
Rapture Retards aren't any different than the cliche of the mad scientist muttering, "They laughed at me...called me insane...but THEY WILL PAY!" The only difference is instead of giant robots or whatnot, Rapture Retards are looking forward to a 40-foot Jesus with laser beam eyes.
8/27/2008 4:34:32 PM
that's not God's problem because if he were concerned about it, then he would fix it so that nobody dies at the time of the rapture, but I don't think he's going to do that.
Yeah... what kind of God of Love would he be if he were concerned about that...?
8/27/2008 4:35:43 PM
8/27/2008 4:35:55 PM
Seriously, this seems to be yet another RR Poe that attempts to paint the RR version of God as a complete asshole. The name is totally non-RR - real RR believers hate the "new world order" term because it's a mark of "the Beast."
Seriously, who reviews these?
8/27/2008 4:38:01 PM
"Aw. They make such hilarious hash of their own tiny minds when messy reality collides with their fantasies."
Precisely. This is so well-stated.
I like to bring up how abortion could be moral if, since you abort a baby before it becomes a wicked sinner, you save a soul from hell. This really outrages and upsets them.
8/27/2008 4:40:42 PM
8/27/2008 4:41:43 PM
Kevin Smith ought to base his next movie on this paradox.
8/27/2008 4:45:11 PM
Why do you even need your bodies to ascend into Heaven? I thought Heaven was a spiritual alternate dimension on Mars or something.
8/27/2008 4:50:21 PM
that's not God's problem
So if I teleport an airliner's pilot and copilot out of the plane, it's not my responsibility if it crashes?
Wow. Fundie logic is awesome!
8/27/2008 4:57:32 PM
You can tell a lot about a person by his view of God.
8/27/2008 4:59:51 PM
Smells Like a Monkey
What about a prosthetic limb? Or a seeing eye dog? Left behind?
8/27/2008 5:10:41 PM
I was at a garage sale and I found a book called Left Behind that seemed interesting. I read 1 chapter before I realized it was about the rapture. I thought it was just badly written. Does anybody want it? It's really terrible, but it's free!
8/27/2008 5:11:35 PM
Alright! It's gonna be a bloodbath!
8/27/2008 5:26:24 PM
@ Brenz: My wife constantly points out how kind theists always seem to worship kind Gods and mean theists always seem to worship mean Gods.
This theist has a cruel and criminally irresponsible God who treats life like it's cheap. I wonder if s/he was a crane inspector for NYC?
8/27/2008 5:30:31 PM
8/27/2008 5:34:27 PM
If I were a co-joined twin I would be saying fuck you to god everyday. I guess I'm the one who get left behind with my entrails all over the place.
Cojoined twins don't share a spirit?
8/27/2008 5:35:22 PM
The Lazy One
@MK- NewWorldOrder isn't a poe. She's a very active, well-contributing member of RR for a while, but this is the first time I can remember her saying anything nutty enough to be posted here.
8/27/2008 5:37:41 PM
A prime example of people who have far, far too much time on their hands.
8/27/2008 5:59:59 PM
J. Random Lurker
It's a moot point. The rapture is nowhere in the Bible--so why are you even worrying about such nonsense?
In fact, do you really want to know where your religiously-pornographic dogma otherwise known as the Rapture came from?
It first started as an idea by a Chilean Catholic priest named Emmanuel Lacunza. He published a book on it and put the author as one Rabbi Ben Ezra, who was a converted Jew. This drew the attention of Rome, and his book was placed on the Index Librorum Prohibitorum.
A few years later, a sensationalist Scottish preacher by the name of Edward Irving got a hold of Lacunza's book and translated it into English. He worked it into his preachings and was kicked out of the Church of Scotland in 1833. In the interim, there was this Scottish teenager named MacDonald who apparently had some wickedly-vivid vision about the tribulation.
Enter Darby. An Irish lawyer-turned-Anglican-preacher heard about this and decided to form his own sect called the Brethren. He worked both Lacunza's ideas and MacDonald's babbling, and then spread it during the 1860's and 1870's all over North America.
Long story short: you fail. And because your god doesn't like making shit up in his name, [said like the Soup Nazi:] No Heaven For You!
8/27/2008 6:00:24 PM
I cannot believe that people actually think about this. RR has got to be my no.1 comedy spot at the moment, especially since Kent Hovind's blog has got sooper dooper moderation and no dissenting are allowed any more
8/27/2008 6:01:52 PM
8/27/2008 6:02:14 PM
The god that created and loves me is going to let a 5 ton mack truck rip my torso in half while I scream and bleed? You're hilarious XD
8/27/2008 6:12:17 PM
She circles basic morality for a while, and comes up with "Oh well. Not my problem." So Christ-like.
8/27/2008 6:30:04 PM
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