I'm inclined to think that anything in or on our person will disappear in the Rapture. It wouldn't be very dignified to have people stumbling across our underwear. If you were to say that things like pacemakers and teeth fillings will be left behind, you would also have to apply that principle to undigested food because it hasn't become part of your 'person' yet. Urk! Not a nice thought, eh? So I reckon everything on or in does the zappo too.
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Obviously, this won't be a problem for people with prosthetic limbs and the like, since missing limbs are proof that they've sinned and therefore won't be raptured.
Also, Making Shit Up For Jesus award.
I'm sick to death of this rapture shit. Who started it?
Nowhere in the Bible does it say that you conceited shits are going to ascend into heaven.
YOU ARE GOING TO DIE at some point, and unless you're in a hospital on painkillers, IT WILL HURT.
What amazes me is that there are people - who actually exist - and who sit around and cogitate about this shit.
Go out of your tiny mind, volunteer in your neighborhood and HELP your neighbors, or else shut the fuck up!
I think certain branches of Christianity sound a lot like UFO cults. They're both obsessed with being "taken away" ,and brought to someplace else by higher beings.
They're also both nucking futs.
So I reckon everything on or in does the zappo too.
Fundies arguing like this remind me of those conversations that internet nerds have about who would win in a fight between Captain Picard and Captain Kirk.
If you were to say that things like pacemakers and teeth fillings will be left behind, you would also have to apply that principle to undigested food because it hasn't become part of your 'person' yet. Urk!
When people actually start getting raptured, this will become an issue. Until then, you're just making shit up aren't you?
Well dang, I had this vision of stuff just lying around everywhere, unclaimed and just there for the taking.
Unless the brain fart getting craptured happens to be in the car ahead of or to either side of me while we're both zipping down I-25 / I-70 at 65mph. Because if they've been sucked up, I'm guessing suing them when their suddenly out-of-control car slams into mine will be kinda tough. Behind me I don't seem to care so much about, unless there's a Mack or a Peterbilt or such behind *them* at the time, because semis *don't stop*. And I suppose if it's the trucker getting craptured, that would *really* be a problem!
That's another bumper sticker slogan:
"Make sure you're wearing clean underwear, you could be raptured today."
"I'm inclined to think"
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It would be a bummer if you got, ahem, zappoed while having a dump, or were in the middle of some horizontal jogging with the missus (or mister, if you prefer).
I've always been confused as to why they think their physical bodies would ascend. What would they need them for, I mean it's heaven right, and heaven is a spiritual realm so your body would be useless right?
And what of all the people that died pre-rapture none of them got to keep their bodies, so what are their bodies supposed to leave the grave and join them in heaven when the rapture happens? Good god none of it makes any sense.
@arcturus
Nowhere in the Bible does it say that you conceited shits are going to ascend into heaven.
AFAIK these fundamentalists base their beilef on Luke 17:22-37
which talks about the second coming of christ.
Especially Luke 17:34 and 35:
I tell you, in that night there shall be two men in one bed; the one shall be taken, and the other shall be left.
Two women will be grinding grain together. One will be taken, and the other will be left behind."
One wonders however what the 2 men have been doing in the same bed. One should ask the christian fundamentalists if that means that only homosexuals will ascend to heaven :D
(well, to be more exacty there is no talk about going to heaven, the verses only say that one vanish, to an unknown place whereas the other will stay but, well, the fundies believe the one who vanishes will go to heaven ;) )
Let's just make it simple, only the organic things go with you.
So wear a lot of natural fabarics RRs.
@anonymous_troy
Then I guess they'd be raptured... And ruptured.
Go out of your tiny mind, volunteer in your neighborhood and HELP your neighbors, or else shut the fuck up!
Hell yes. What strikes me about these people who spend all their time wondering who's going to feed Fluffy when they're gone, is that they aren't actually doing anything to make them worthy of being Raptured.
Even if the Rapture is actually true and really happens, I bet we'll never actually realize it when it does, because maybe 20 people worldwide would actually make the cut.
And ironically, all these fucking people at RR will be the loudest deniers of God's work, refusing to believe that the Rapture has come because dammit, THEY'RE still here!
Originally posted by Grigadil
I want to get in on "doing business" with these suckers. It's a real cash mine. I just need to figure something out that these rapture retards can't live without and will pay cash for.
Well, there's always this delightful scam:
http://www.youvebeenleftbehind.com/
@Warren: yep, you got it in one! Those who died pre-Rapture are supposed to rise up bodily out of the grave when the time comes. I seem to recall there is even one pathetic couple who buried their dead child in their backyard so when the Rapture comes they will seem him rise out of the grave as they are all carried away.
Depressing lives these people lead.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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