*why masturbation is bad*
It hurts God, He watches everything and nothing is hidden from
Why is masturbating wrong?
[4/28/2008 7:56:23 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Take that God! And that, And that and that and THAT oooh yeah!
4/29/2008 12:30:22 AM
So God watches gay porn?
4/29/2008 1:22:48 AM
Heh. So, God likes to watch, huh? Kinky.
4/29/2008 1:38:17 AM
Well, God had better toughen up if it hurts him so badly.
4/29/2008 2:27:43 AM
Poor God, there there, awwww don't cry.... Cmon Jebus, show him that even you pull your old fella.
4/29/2008 2:59:42 AM
Ha, ha! I'm tormenting God!
4/29/2008 4:29:31 AM
It hurts god? Those aren't bullets I'm shootin' thar.
4/29/2008 5:02:16 AM
It's still the HOW that makes me wonder about the above statement. You'd think God had a thicker skin.
4/29/2008 7:08:52 AM
He likes to watch people masturbate? Man, that God is one big fat pervert!
4/29/2008 7:51:25 AM
Well tell him to stop looking then!
Also, God apparently looks at fchan.
4/29/2008 10:15:10 AM
It hurts God
But it doesn't seem to hurt Bree Olson. I think I'll worship her instead.
4/29/2008 10:19:19 AM
In the words of Chris Giffen, "I'm a sinner...and God's a pervert."
4/29/2008 10:21:35 AM
God is a voyeur? If my masturbation hurts him, I suggest he spy on prettier people.
4/29/2008 11:46:55 AM
Poe, look at the (admittedly clever) name.
4/29/2008 11:50:24 AM
Well, sure, if you get him in the eye....
4/29/2008 2:57:54 PM
Jezebel's Evil Sister
Well, god should take the same advice he supposedly gave in his book: "If thine eye offend thee, pluck it out." (Matthew 18:9) So, if god gets hurt by watching wankers and just can't get over this disgusting habit of his, he should pluck out his eyes. Odin, as I recall, got along well with one eye, so your god who claims to be the biggest, baddest diety of them all, should do OK.
4/29/2008 3:29:09 PM
GOD DOSNT LIKE IT WHIN ITS JUST YOU, HE LIKES WATCHING BOTH DO IT. THATS WHY ITS WRONG. GODS A PERV.
4/29/2008 5:32:41 PM
In what way does it hurt God?
Aren't there things that would be far more hurtful? Stuff that he's watching at the same time I'm jacking off? Stuff like… Oh, God really is a pervert.
(I'll leave what's after the elipses up to your imagination. :-P)
"Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love."
- Woody Allen
4/29/2008 6:14:24 PM
I quite like the way this one tails off into nothing:
"...hidden from" what, too preoccupied to finish your sentence? Not with the bad thing, I hope? Honestly.
4/29/2008 7:22:53 PM
Did anyone else reading this comment and screenname start visualizing that video of Kermit the Frog watching "2 girls 1 cup"?
Gotta go bleach my brain now.
4/29/2008 7:42:19 PM
never been there
I'm so glad I'm not God! Can you imagine, being omniscient? You couldn't even close your eyes! Never mind the rather disturbing watching of wankers when your attention could be elsewhere, a large percentage of humans aren't a treat to see disrobed anyway.
4/30/2008 2:51:56 AM
God could just...you know...Turn around and not watch me during private moments?
4/30/2008 3:36:05 AM
I've got an Amy Reid video somewhere on my hard drive that disagrees with you.
4/30/2008 5:21:01 AM
Ooh, check out the sentence that PastorofMuppets writes AFTER this:
"It abuses his gift to you when he gives you a marriage partner, when you obtain pleasure from something other than his gift. Its like saying that Gods gift isnt enough"
gave me my wife? She didn't have anything to do with it?
4/30/2008 6:21:52 PM
LMAO!!!!! What a freakin moron!
5/2/2008 2:08:52 PM