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Quote# 38369

*why masturbation is bad*

It hurts God, He watches everything and nothing is hidden from

PastorofMuppets, Why is masturbating wrong? 92 Comments [4/28/2008 7:56:23 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
WTF?! || meh
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#480502
Little Miss

*snorts* I'm too amused to be clever.
(Whacking off makes God cry sad tears!)

4/28/2008 7:59:18 PM

#480504
Nirjuana

Woah, if that'd be true, I'd have single-handedly killed God

4/28/2008 8:00:28 PM

#480506
Winston Jen

Another fundie telling his god what he can and cannot do.

4/28/2008 8:00:50 PM

#480508
cyborgtroy

Well I never said he had to watch.

4/28/2008 8:01:23 PM

#480517
Empress of Zind

What is it about masturbation that makes God so upset?

4/28/2008 8:04:07 PM

#480522
Poisoned Rationality

*Snickers* Um... Sorry about that near miss the other day, God... *Giggle* I was just rubbing one out. I didn't mean to *snerk* kill anybody...

*Falls over laughing*

4/28/2008 8:05:38 PM

#480528
Paschall Wagner

So basically, his argument is that ceiling cat is watching us masturbate?

4/28/2008 8:09:37 PM

#480530
Knotilus

Hehe, some of us like to watch people masturbate. Or be watched.

With consent, of course.

4/28/2008 8:10:23 PM

#480538
DarkfireTaimatsu

God sounds a bit creepy, then.

4/28/2008 8:12:16 PM

#480546
GigaGuess

If masturbation hurts God, what the hell does the war you so vehemently back do to him? Certainly, if me rubbing one off grieves him so, the deaths of women and children should wound him to the quick, no?

4/28/2008 8:13:25 PM

#480547
Quantum Mechanic

So why does it FEEL GOOD?

4/28/2008 8:13:27 PM

#480559
Psittacosis

God has his very own subscription to ifeelmyself.com.

The perv.

4/28/2008 8:17:19 PM

#480561
name goes here

God: "Agh! Dude, put it away! No one wants to see that! Damn my omniscience..."

4/28/2008 8:17:46 PM

#480568
Upallnite

Tell god to wear sun glasses so that it dosn't get in his eyes!


4/28/2008 8:19:22 PM

#480591
Antichrist

Because every time you masturbate God kills a puppy.

That's probably a more effective argument.

4/28/2008 8:27:00 PM

#480596
Philbert McAdamia

It sure as hell doesn't hurt Jumbo.
Makes Jumbo feel GOOOOOOOOOOD! :-)

4/28/2008 8:30:02 PM

#480601
Tom S. Fox

But the really creepy thing is the implication that god enjoys watching people having sex!

4/28/2008 8:32:02 PM

#480604
IanC

Hahahaha!

Man i must have really, really hurt God!

4/28/2008 8:32:15 PM

#480605
Mayhem

Oh great! Not only is god a mass murderer, he's a fucking perv, too...

4/28/2008 8:32:58 PM

#480618
Mike

God's a pervert!

4/28/2008 8:37:03 PM

#480623
Osiris

Why does it hurt God?

4/28/2008 8:38:35 PM

#480625
werewolf

Your god is one sick pervert, then.

4/28/2008 8:39:13 PM

#480639
Septic Sceptic

Poor God. Having to watch every time somebody starts slipping a hand into their panties. It must be awful for Him. Luckily I am willing to take this burden upon myself if God will allow it. It'll be poetic, like how God sacrificed for us, so I shall... look, whatever, how do you tune this omnicience into Kirsten Dunst's house?

4/28/2008 8:42:33 PM

#480642
Dr. Funkenstein

Hey, if it upsets God so much he should probably just quit watching.

4/28/2008 8:43:15 PM

#480647
Brain_In_A_Jar

You reckon your god is omnipotent, which means he must have a choice of whether or not to watch things that hurt him. If he continues to do so, he must therefore be a masochist; are you sure that's an implication you wish to make?

4/28/2008 8:45:52 PM
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