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Quote# 31192

(Big Jesus FTW!)

If you're worried about your wicked behavior being watched by a camera by the police department, let me tell you there is a bigger camera that is watching all of your wicked behavior. It's call the Lord God Jesus Christ. And he sees everything. So turn off your computer porn and stop rubbing yourself in unholy ways, stop picking up whores in cheap bars and stop shoving long objects up your under-hole. Yes, God is watching, don't be afraid of Big Brother, because Big Jesus is watching and you will be swimming in a molting lake of fire if you don't hand over your life to Jesus, libtards. I'm praying for you, it's probably a lost cause, but I'm earning points with Jesus.

Maxine, The Daily Page, Madison WI 50 Comments [11/14/2007 9:07:09 PM]
Fundie Index: 5
Submitted By: zipperback
WTF?! || meh
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#335845
werewolf

Sorry, Maxine, you're talking about Santa.

He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good...

11/14/2007 9:13:49 PM
#335849
Madame Scarlet

Rubbing yourself in unholy ways? Are you trying to write erotic fiction?

And it's quite obvious by your last comment that you don't actually care about or love the people you're condemning. You're just praying to get Jesus on your good side. Guess what. Jesus doesn't like that. You're as damned as the rest of us.

11/14/2007 9:17:40 PM
#335852
Whiteshark

It's funny how jesus like to watch us do those particular things.

11/14/2007 9:22:47 PM
#335853
Evil Deadite

Only Catholic priests rub in unholy ways.

True story: The girl I lost my virginity to was catholic. After we had sex the first time (my first, not hers, incidentally) she cried and said, quote "we did that in front of god."

Talk about pressure.

11/14/2007 9:23:26 PM
#335859
BurntBush

Earning points?

11/14/2007 9:33:14 PM
#335863
MDMcGee

Would it be holier if I rubbed myself with the Shroud of Turin?

11/14/2007 9:44:53 PM
#335867
TB Tabby

So you're praying for me, not out of kindness or concern, but to save your own sorry hide from eternal damnation? What just and righteous god would reward such spineless pandering over genuine love and charity?

11/14/2007 9:52:20 PM
#335870
Rhys

You make jesus sound like a pervert or a peeping tom. Watching me shower and take a crap. WTF man?

"stop shoving long objects up your under-hole."

I couldn't stop laughing after I read that.

11/14/2007 9:56:26 PM
#335884
Yasa

Molting fire!? I hate it when fire gets old feathers everywhere!

11/14/2007 10:10:41 PM
#335888
davros

Ha Ha
she said Under-hole "smirk"
that just strikes me as so funny
i think i will start to use that myself

double post sorry


11/14/2007 10:15:26 PM
#335891
approximate

So, what you're saying is that Jesus is a voyeur.

You're gonna burn for that one...under-hole.

11/14/2007 10:18:25 PM
#335894
BuddT

So basically what this fundies telling us is that the Son of the Almighty .Was spying on me while I was masturbating and he been doing so since I was 11 .Sounds kind of perverted to me ..
Jesus seem to be no more than a peeping tom.

SO Jesus Clause is coming to town ,.He taken some pics,And checking them twice he is gong to find whos been naughty and Nice

11/14/2007 10:20:00 PM
#335895
MK

How about if I start rubbing myself in holy ways, and use paper porn instead? What if I pick up hookers in very expensive bars? How about just some very short objects up my under-hole?

ANy of that okay?

11/14/2007 10:20:26 PM
#335904
BuddT

WTF is a under hole Is that my ass Are you calling a ass a under hole .I nver hear of that one b4 .

The Under hole I never hear it called that B4 Did you mean say thunder hole I get that one .But not the under hole .
I heard the ass hole called many things but never a under hole ,a bung hole the Hersey highway , For some less nice trems are stink hole brown eye but never the under hole .

11/14/2007 10:31:19 PM
#336031
Big Mac

Be careful about not living righteously merely to be seen by people. Otherwise you have no reward with your Father in heaven (Matthew 6:1).

Fight Fire and Brimstone preaching with Fire and Brimstone preaching.


11/15/2007 1:12:51 AM
#336038
balom

What would Jesus say????



11/15/2007 1:18:10 AM
#336039
D Laurier

What if I have no "wicked" behavior to give up?
What If I dont have any computer porn on??
What if I'm not rubbing myself in "unholy" ways?
What if I'm not picking up whores in cheap bars?
What if I'm not shoving long objects up my "under-hole"???? (what is that anyway?)

How can I stop doing any of those things if I'm not doing them in the first place???

11/15/2007 1:25:54 AM
#336080
Doctor Fishcake

"Earning points" has me thinking Poe.

11/15/2007 2:48:59 AM
#336084
Jacob

See, this is where the claims of the religious right - that liberals and atheists, etc - have no morals, fall on its face. To these people, there is no reason to be a good person unless someone is going to punish you for it. It's completely irrational and selfish a belief, but unfortunately people have to think like this.

11/15/2007 2:56:51 AM
#336100


And surely Jesus is coming with a brigade to arrest him and say, "don't be a bad guy............". Now, honestly, what do they care?. For once, they may not believe in God. And second, what if they do?. Like 2/3 of humankind are not going to Heaven anyway because they don't accept Jesus as Lord and Saviour, according to your doctrine. You can be the most decent guy in the world and it doesn't matter. So, why not having sex out of the boundaries of marriage, if they're not going to Heaven anyway?

11/15/2007 3:33:45 AM
#336123
Mr Smith

[i[So turn off your computer porn and stop rubbing yourself in unholy ways[/i]

What would Jesus beat off too?

Oh, and what is the holy way to rub yourself? The public need to know!

11/15/2007 4:07:25 AM
#336140
Prager

'Brownnoser for Jesus'

11/15/2007 5:00:17 AM
#336166
Lex Kitten

Soeaking from experience, Maxine? Did "Big Jesus" catch you "rubbing yourself in unholy ways"? You seem to know an awful lot about it...

11/15/2007 6:08:42 AM
#336167


So voyeur Jesus doesn't care if I lie, steal and cheat, he just wants to make sure I'm not getting any physical pleasure?

11/15/2007 6:09:26 AM
#336169
szena

Someone's pastor watches porn for "sermon ideas."

11/15/2007 6:12:33 AM
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