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Quote# 26740

When you feel a presence like that, then something has been brought into the house that is not of God, our Lord Jesus Christ.

So, you had your pastor come out and pray over your house and things were alright, and then you read VAMPIRE books, and then things are bad.

Burn your vampire books, and get your pastor back.

["Okay, I'm burning those books if not discarding them in other ways... Thanks for your help everybody!"]

My dear sister, you missed the point---BURN THEM. Don't pass them onto anyone else, such as discarding them. BURN THEM!


Elijah2, Christian Forums 64 Comments [6/28/2007 5:25:39 PM]
Fundie Index: 5
Submitted By: David
WTF?! || meh
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#255910
Matilde

This activity should include burning the computer, the cooker, the microwave..........you know, none of them are exactly "of God".

6/29/2007 3:24:45 AM

#255914
Easy Lover

Where exactly in the bible does it say to do that then?

6/29/2007 4:00:54 AM

#255920
David B.

"Where exactly in the bible does it say to do that then?"

Ah no, you see, this is Elijah 2!

He's, like, a whole new prophet from God ready to bring down fire from the sky! In hardback!

Mind you, I'm not that against the burning of Anne Rice novels, just on grounds of taste.
;-)

6/29/2007 5:01:37 AM

#255922
Matilde

There is just a little problem with all that. Ok, so, demons, vampires and the such are supernatural beings who don't obey any known rule of physics and nature. They can force you to make things you don't want to and so powerful that, with the tech we have and so on, you can't beat them. Ok, so, why is fire or a prayer going to stop them?, any logic?. If you are going to make it up, make it up completely and don't be so cheeky as to use a computer, if you believe medieval tricks.

6/29/2007 5:08:57 AM

#255926


How about "The 451 Degrees of God" award?

6/29/2007 5:34:19 AM

#255929
Øyvind

Fahrenheit 666 award.

6/29/2007 5:51:46 AM

#255933
Ambrielle

Why do they assume that if someone feels a 'presence' then it must be the devil/a demon. Why couldn't it be god? Envy is a sin Elijah.

(ok, I know god doesn't exist, but I was making a point)

6/29/2007 6:13:37 AM

#255936
szena

@Ambrielle - God doesn't hang around where vampire books are present, just like he can't be around sinners in heaven.

Fundies will tell you that with a straight face, never noticing the contradictions.

6/29/2007 7:02:47 AM

#255939
Vlad the Impaler

What? Burn Bram Stoker? Let's burn YOU!

6/29/2007 7:12:11 AM

#255944
Mister Spak

What about werewolf books?

6/29/2007 7:18:47 AM

#255946
Buffy Summers

Anybody here see a guy with pointy teeth?

6/29/2007 7:20:14 AM

#255957
NonProphet

Bram Stoker would laugh at you, and then drink all your whiskey.

You're so paranoid and delusional, it's funny. Hee.

6/29/2007 8:46:37 AM

#255961
Nekhbet

My Dear Sister: Ask yourself would you trust anyone who had a dancing banana as an icon?

6/29/2007 9:43:32 AM

#255996
Booley

Funny, I have not only read vampire books, I have also PLAYED Vampire the Masquerade.

Don't recall any demons or feeling like something was sitting on me. Just a lot of fun dressing up and pretending.

6/29/2007 1:05:15 PM

#255999
Marissa

Y'know, just the other day I was reading a book about vampires and half way through, there was a heavy weight on my lap and chest and a piercing pain in my neck (well, shoulder, but it's close enough).

Then again, my dad has an attention seeking cat with sharp claws and a weird tendancy to rest on my chest even when I'm sat upright.

6/29/2007 1:28:22 PM

#256001
MrsYoungie

Burn them?? Why? Do they weigh the same as a duck?

6/29/2007 1:49:10 PM

#256002
Decoy

I endorse the burning of vampire books if it will stop angsty teenagers thinking they ARE vampires.

6/29/2007 2:04:09 PM

#256003
NotMe

Decoy: Just give them to me. I'll pretend to dispose of them and my "library" will be extended dramatically. Besides, what's wrong with kids believing to be vampires? You'll never see them running around during the day and you get to spray them with garlic sauce if they annoy you.

6/29/2007 2:19:37 PM

#256005
Frank

Who would've thought a fundementalist would take a work of fiction so seriously?

Especially one full of nonsense based around people coming back from the dead.

6/29/2007 2:35:32 PM

#256055
Hachi

The burning, or destruction, of books tops my list of "Worst Possible Things to Do in 2007".
...but wouldn't it be great if the same books they've burned get a free ticket to their Heaven :P

6/29/2007 5:10:12 PM

#256087
6/29/2007 7:15:23 PM

#256112


My french teacher used said
"Every times you burn a book, whatever it is, the liberty cries a tear"
with peolple like you poor liberty would cry a river...

6/29/2007 9:01:52 PM

#256114
Safaraz

How can you say to burn books?

This makes me cry irl =(

6/29/2007 9:17:43 PM

#256173
Random Guy

Would these books be burned before or after the heretics are burned at the stake, anyway?

6/30/2007 2:57:37 AM

#256196
ChrisO

Fahrenheit 451 Award?

6/30/2007 6:24:45 AM
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