[From "10 Ways to Practice Purity"]
Acknowledge Jesus' presence on every date.
10 Ways to Practice Purity,
[3/29/2007 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
3/29/2007 3:53:59 AM
Does Jesus get a blowjob?
3/30/2007 12:44:29 AM
3/30/2007 1:37:58 AM
Yes if things go well both you and your date will be in the back seat saying: Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! OH GOD!!!!!!
3/30/2007 1:49:48 AM
\"OH JESUS! OH JESUS! YES! YES!!!\"
3/30/2007 2:38:49 AM
Look Jesus, here's five bucks, go see The Passion or something.
3/30/2007 2:41:54 AM
3/30/2007 3:12:07 AM
Cat of Many Faces
\"And this is jesus. He'll be watching over us on this date\"
\"err... okay...\" backs away slowly, then runs.
3/30/2007 3:27:02 AM
Man Called True
Only if he agrees to pick up the tab.
3/30/2007 3:58:39 AM
If they go \"Dutch\", Do they owe each other sex?
3/30/2007 4:05:30 AM
As soon as she gets into my car, I point out my Wash Away Your Sins air freshener, where Jesus hangs from my rear view, keeping my car smelling godly.
This takes about two seconds, after which I immediately ask her where she wants to go eat.
3/30/2007 4:43:03 AM
Ooh, MMF threesome with Jesus...now that's kinky.
3/30/2007 4:49:32 AM
Home Run For Jesus?
So when you feel that extra pair of hands groping you under your blouse, you know your boyfried called on jesus again.
GIRL ON DATE: \"Does He have to ride along on every, every date we go on? He just sits in the back seat and grins at me. He's really creeping me out.\"
3/30/2007 7:02:59 AM
Be more specific. Henry the VIII, Pope Borgia, Haggart and Bakker ackowledged Jesus in theory........................and we all know what happened.
3/30/2007 9:25:09 AM
Jesus is a voyeur?
3/30/2007 11:48:39 AM
What about when I'm taking dump? Is Jesus there too?
3/30/2007 11:50:30 AM
The list isn't that fundy. In fact, I liked #9:
9) Put real love first. Genuine love always respects the other person. It never says, \"If you love me, you'll … \" Real love says instead, \"Since I care about you so much, I will respect you, treat you with kindness, and never ask you to do something you know or feel is wrong.\"
3/30/2007 12:36:46 PM
My favourite was
4) Remember whose property you're touching. You do not own the person you're dating. That person belongs to God. Imagine there's a sign on everyone you date that reads: PROPERTY OF JESUS.
Where should I look for this label?
3/30/2007 1:03:32 PM
LOL, oh she does.
3/30/2007 2:44:06 PM
Redhunter, you owe me a new keyboard.
And as for the list, a lot of it is actually not bad advice. I give it maybe a 2 on the fundie scale.
3/30/2007 2:48:34 PM
Are we talking about a threesome here?
3/30/2007 5:00:38 PM
Not really a fundamentalist, Yahweh. Sorry to say so.
3/30/2007 5:59:25 PM
Not that fundy, although it can be kinda creepy. The list is too focused in making sex look bad, but it compares favorably to a lot of fundies.
3/31/2007 12:47:10 AM
Well, okay, but he doesn't get to pick the restaurant.
3/31/2007 1:15:22 AM
\"Table for two sir?\"
\"No, table for THREE.\"
4/1/2007 2:51:32 AM