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Quote# 13510

Nuclear explosions will light up the Eastern seaboard of the United States, Bill Clinton will declare Marshall law within the United States from his newly established throne in Israel. Chaos will insue on the North American continent. Food will be so scarce that people will start to eat one another as they do now in North Korea. Rich people will continue to try living their life-syle as if nothing happened, but will only be killed for their coveted possessions. Rich people will finally get their just reward…death and misery. There will be a 15 month period on earth where people will wish they could die but cannot. The poor will have already been dead because they couldn’t get enough to eat or could not afford a shelter to survive. China will take over the world in a swift thrust towards the Middle East, this will action will capture all the oil reserves and destroy as many people as they can, reducing the world population down to approximately 1 billion. The world as we know it will come to an end as Jesus Christ returns on a white horse with all of the believer in him around the year 2007. If he didn’t come back at this time the world would be completely destroyed. This is just the highlights of the troubles that the world is in for.

Tim, Apocalyptic Dreaming 62 Comments [8/3/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 5
WTF?! || meh
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#59337
MrGoodBytes

Oh no! The dreaded Marshall law!

8/3/2006 6:24:46 PM
#59341
McCulloch

Bill Clinton will declare Marshall law within the United States from his newly established throne in IsraelMarshall law - that would be Marshall McLuhan's law.

8/3/2006 6:37:59 PM
#59355
LibKitten

Ow. Ow ow ow. That made me snort Coca-Cola out my nose. Jerk.

8/3/2006 7:42:05 PM
#59366
whitewater55

Tim, is that really you? How are things in South Park?
Tiimmmmer!

8/3/2006 8:04:56 PM
#59378
themann1086

The fear of the Clenis strikes again!

8/3/2006 8:34:25 PM
#59424
Napoleon the Clown

One thing would stop all this. The US would still be able to nuke the fuck out of every nation they even suspected of doing it.

*Does the nuclear winter dance.*

8/3/2006 10:51:50 PM
#59570
Coffee

Remember, everyone, this is just the HIGHLIGHTS of the troubles that the world is in for. Tim is saving the really juicy details for the faithful.

Cthulhu can't return soon enough at this rate. I gotta study my copy of the Necromonicon tonight.

8/4/2006 6:12:34 PM
#59584
Hadanelith

*Joins Napolean in the nuclear winter dance*

8/4/2006 6:44:07 PM
#59950
Wolf O'Donnell (SWHQ)

What is this with these fundies and their obsession with people or institutes that either live or have their Headquarters in America, moving to the Middle East? I've heard of office relocations, but that's just stupid...

They'd move to the Caiman Islands where they wouldn't have to be taxed. Duh!

8/5/2006 5:40:17 PM
#60177
haywood jablomy

Napoleon *Does the nuclear winter dance.*

Then Pedro shall ascend his throne, and Napoleon returns on a white horse with When in Rome in the background. If he didn't come back at this time, Kip's wedding would be completely destroyed.

Gosh, Tim, you are so dumb.

8/6/2006 9:16:25 AM
#60548
Crosis

Tim, whatever you were smoking when you wrote that, I'd recommend you cut the dose way down.

8/7/2006 3:52:48 AM
#61331
Lizifer

Marshall law?

8/8/2006 11:04:53 PM
#61400
Alex

you don't like rich people very much.

8/9/2006 3:09:10 AM
#63648
bob loblaw

>The poor will have already been dead because they couldn’t get enough to eat or could not afford a shelter to survive.

So much for that BS about the meek inheriting the earth

8/15/2006 6:00:07 AM
#63654
Redhunter

So how do some people starve to death and some cannot die? COuldn't the 'cannot die' people just give their food to the starving people? I mean, they don't need it.

Basically Tim is saying that the return of jesus is gonna suck really hard.

8/15/2006 6:29:00 AM
#67634
Maronan

I've become increasingly worried about the apocolypse. Unfortunately, it would seem that the conditions for the apocolypse were set up a long time ago.

In primordial space, timeless creatures
made waves. These waves created us and the
others. Waves were the battles, and the
battles were waves.

Fleeing all W'rkncacnter, Yrro and Pthia
settled upon Lh'owon. They brought the
S'pht, servants who began to shape the
deserts of Lh'owon into marsh and sea,
rivers and forests. They made sisters for
Lh'owon to protect and maintain the paradise.

When the W'rkncacnter came, Pthia was
killed, and Yrro in anger, flung the
W'rkncacnter into the sun. The sun burned
them, but they swam on its surface.


Although they are unable to cause any harm to us today, there is a chance that the W'rkncacnter may be released from their gravity prison. A weapon called the tri xeem, or \"early nova\" has the capacity to destroy an entire star, including the one holding the W'rkncacnter imprisoned.

Fortunately, I think there's a Jjaro station somewhere that may be able to avert disaster if the tri xeem is used.

(Cookie for whoever gets the reference!)

8/24/2006 2:16:42 AM
#69677
DCoke

So China is going to destroy some of their population as well.

8/28/2006 3:03:34 PM
#251540
JM

So... we're waiting. Fifteen months, right? Year 2007? Ol' Christy boy had better get going soon.

6/16/2007 1:45:00 PM
#251614
agentCDE

Maronan: Marathon Infinity. :D

That said, I think we're far more screwed by the Waking God underneath the pyramid. We'd better send in a specops team with a nuke. Won't kill It, of course, but if everything collapses on top of It it'll at least knock It out for a bit longer.

6/16/2007 5:46:40 PM
#251643
Beccs

2007 and still waiting.

China better hurry up . ..

6/16/2007 7:08:06 PM
#251728
LT. Fred

As a distinguished millitary figure, Lieutenant Fred knows that the only way for China to march to the Middle East, direct is (drummroll)
Through the Himilayas!

6/17/2007 1:51:30 AM
#615919


Guess you must feel pretty stupid now, eh?

8/5/2008 5:58:47 PM
#616121
Arts_Myth

I count myself as one of the lucky, the fortunate, a survivor of the apocalyptic horrors that had been foretold by that one so mighty, so knowledgeable, the one that some call... Tim.

We manage to scrape by day-by-day, in this one piece of rock that was left miraculously unscathed by the events of the end-times. We call our little haven... Earth.

8/5/2008 7:26:33 PM
#1053670
aaa

It's 2009. World population is over 6 billion, there's a half black man leading the last superpower and still no apocalypse.

One of those 6 billion just found this quote and laughed his arse off.

11/10/2009 5:48:24 AM
#1053674
MDB

Bill Clinton's "newly established throne in Israel"?

The only reason Bill Clinton would ever go to Israel would be to find another chubby Jewish chick.

11/10/2009 6:27:27 AM
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