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#55462
theironpaperclip
\"The angels came from everywhere, even from the toilet, and the closets.\"
Ladies and gentlemen, we have discoverd the source of child preditors and childrens fear of toilets and dark closets. After much debate and several peer reviews with my multible personalities, it's nonother than angels. Yes, you heard me right, angles. These mythical creatures not only exist in fairly tails and other works of fiction like the Bible, but are figments of people's imagnation used to scare little children and latter adults into submission. This imaginary friend, or enimy, pretends to help or hinder people acourding to the viewer's needs. They can easily command people to kill, and even imbet thoughts into other people's mind.
The only known cure is lack of religion, over 1 Billion atheists dont see these creatures and are unafected by their mind control. Religious bewere, your sky daddy is watching you right now and by reading this you will go to HELL!!!
7/23/2006 9:55:39 AM
#55463
Winston Jen
IT WAS A DREAM!
7/23/2006 10:01:00 AM
#55466
Ice
Let me guess, you watched \"They\" the night before?
7/23/2006 10:12:14 AM
#55468
Jeremy PC
Satan is a bit of a pussy if an inane \"command\" is enough to defeat him.
7/23/2006 10:18:35 AM
#55471
kkkron
Ever heard of dreams? They're these things that happen when you're asleep.
7/23/2006 10:42:26 AM
#55478
Prager
This is what happens when you drop acid!
7/23/2006 12:01:29 PM
#55479
Dante's Virgil
Sir, you are clearly schizophrenic.
I picked him up and took him outside for some air. He is okay now...
Demons can now be destroyed by fresh air. Yet another reason to fight global warming and pollution.
7/23/2006 12:04:03 PM
#55480
mkb
Drugs are bad, m'kay?
7/23/2006 12:06:11 PM
#55486
Grey Area
Telling lies is very very naughty, Michael.
7/23/2006 12:19:19 PM
#55501
Lasagne
Sounds like this woman in the shelter for homeless women I work at: She always thinks the russians are coming for her when she's in the shower. She's also been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Maybe he should start taking his pills again...
7/23/2006 2:10:53 PM
#55507
Hadanelith
The insanity...
7/23/2006 2:25:26 PM
#55511
boner
Dude! When I read this I has a flashback from ten years ago. This crazy bitch friend of the family was telling me and my atheist friend this insane story about how she stormed into a satanic ritual to save some little kid and marched around the room summoning the power and Jesus and shit. Totally freaked out by buddy till I told him that she suffered from a nervous breakdown a few years early from the death of her oldest son and was apparently off her meds....again. I'm willing to bet that the people that aren't just making shit like this up actually have some kind of mental disorder.
7/23/2006 3:04:18 PM
#55512
quantumspirit
Angels in the toilet? Is someone taking a holy shit?
7/23/2006 3:07:48 PM
#55513
Talisman
At first I was sure this had to be from Rapture Ready. Unfortunately I got to the end only to discover it wasn't. It saddens me that Rapture Ready's peculiar brand of insanity can be found elsewhere.
7/23/2006 3:18:06 PM
#55517
Star Cluster
I just had spiritual fight against Satan.
No, you didn't.
7/23/2006 3:38:11 PM
#55520
Zadic
I feel bad for his son. With a nut like him for a father there is little hope for him growing up to be mentally stable. I mean seriously, I wake up to my dog choking from time to time as well (she stops within 10-20 seconds as it seems to be that she woke up because she wasn't getting enough air while snoring) and I don't go around saying a dark angel is the cause. However, like everyone else my dreams have been effected by outside influences. One time I was dreaming of some sort of courtroom argument that I was involved in and woke up to find that I left my tv on and Matlock had come on. However, the last time I checked it wasn't real...Or was it. Dun, dun, dun.
7/23/2006 3:47:01 PM
#55523
ssdexecutor
No more Mountain Dew before bed, Mikey!
7/23/2006 3:54:47 PM
#55525
Berny
If this idiot really believes this shit, and actually does have delusional bouts like he's described above, he's highly unlikely to seek the kind of professional help he obviously, desperately, needs.
It's intervention time.
7/23/2006 3:59:16 PM
#55528
Hadanelith
\"It's intervention time.\"
Ooh. Can we tape it and send it to A&E?
7/23/2006 4:12:55 PM
#55531
Papabear
\"my thinking is not straight\"
That much is certain.
Why are the over-the-edge religious persons so scared of Satan. All they seem to need to do is say \"By the Power of His Blood\" or \"In the name of Jesus\" or the like and wimpy old Satan high tails it. If only that worked on real threats.
7/23/2006 4:21:00 PM
#55533
Sandman
I'm not sure I want to make fun of this guy. He has delusions of persecution and paranoia. He has audio and visual hallucinations. He is unable to differentiate between reality and fantasy.
He isn't a fundie. He's an undiagnosed schizophrenic.
The fact that a lot of idiots are going to encourage him in his illness out of fundie fanaticism is tragic. In a just world, this guy would be getting medical help before it's too late.
I'm actually gonna pray for this guy myself. Not to aid him in his struggle with satan, but that he gets the help he needs.
7/23/2006 4:24:15 PM
#55542
ProperJob
I feel guilty laughing my arse off at Mikey, he's clearly in need of professional help. Either that, or he's a lying shit. I pity the poor guy regardless.
7/23/2006 4:33:16 PM
#55547
NotMe
The bible says that only God can do something against demons (fallen angels), so even Jesus fighting with you won' help you.
7/23/2006 5:08:20 PM
#55550
themann1086
shit, he as kids? they are so fucked...
7/23/2006 5:31:34 PM
#55552
Skyfire
It sounds to me like he had a rather vivid hallucination of some type.
7/23/2006 5:57:53 PM
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