I got caught putting tracts in porno books once. I wish GOD would cloak us when we are doing it.
[4/22/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 6
Instead of cloaking those in danger of being murdered or raped. Tracts in porno books are just that important.
4/23/2006 3:27:02 AM
I've just found my new excuse for when people catch me looking at porn.
4/23/2006 3:44:03 AM
This is so funny that I honestly have no idea of what to say.
4/23/2006 4:09:32 AM
\"putting tracts in it\"
Did your momma buy that?
4/23/2006 4:17:09 AM
\"God bless Mommy and Daddy and finally, please God, if it's not too much to ask.. Can I please have a +5 cloak of invisibility God. Puhleeease! I promise I won't use it in the girls showers!\"
4/23/2006 4:18:33 AM
\"Puhleeease! I promise I won't use it in the girls showers!\"
4/23/2006 4:31:08 AM
Someone's watched too much Star Trek.
4/23/2006 5:05:16 AM
god cloaks me when I use my 30/30 daedric dildo to fuck jack chick in the ass.
4/23/2006 5:16:44 AM
That's what trenchcoats are for.
4/23/2006 5:34:17 AM
How about you don't even go into porn shops in the first place?
Econ 101. If there's no market for a product, no one will make or sell it.
4/23/2006 5:49:46 AM
Fanatical Mum: Steven, why are you looking at those devil books!
Steven: Its not what it looks like mum, I was, Um, putting tracts in them.
4/23/2006 5:53:35 AM
I wish GOD would cloak you at all times, rendering it impossible to see, hear, notice or communicate with you in any capacity.
4/23/2006 8:42:49 AM
As if God hasn't got anything better to do than help every religious nut in his pursuit of ignorance.
4/23/2006 9:32:06 AM
Hate to sound stupid here folks, but what does he mean he was \"putting tracts in porno books\"? Does that mean he took the books and added pages to them? I tried googling this, and really couldn't find anything meaningful.
4/23/2006 11:21:01 AM
Tracts are idiotic fundie propaganda written in cartoon form to appeal to those of extraordinarily limited intellect, or those prone to excessive gullibility or suffering from generally flawed powers of reasoning.
Jack Chick is the master...
Don't go looking for his stuff. You will want to scour your brain out with a brillo pad after reading it!
4/23/2006 11:37:53 AM
You wouldn't get caught putting tracts in porno books if you didn't spend so much time looking at those girls' um... tracts.
4/23/2006 2:43:28 PM
Amos -- Absolutely! Well said.
Which is more pornographic, pix of naked people or spreading the delusion of Xianity?
4/23/2006 2:53:24 PM
Why doesn't he wish god would just make all the porno books disappear? He is all powerful and such.
Oh wait I know. I'm guessing he LIKES putting tracts in those books. Having to look inside of them is just one sacrifice he is willing to make in the name of god.
4/23/2006 6:06:00 PM
\"You wouldn't get caught putting tracts in porno books if you didn't spend so much time looking at those girls' um... tracts.\"
[MontyPython] She's got huge... tracts o' land! [/MontyPython]
4/23/2006 6:23:56 PM
Aw hell, everyone already beat me to the Star Trek & D&D references.
4/24/2006 3:05:07 AM
Man, I had so many Star Trek references going into this one.
4/24/2006 8:46:07 AM
How about Harry Potter's Cloak of Invisibility? It could work!
4/24/2006 12:35:47 PM
4/24/2006 12:37:33 PM
I bet he was reallllly quick to volunteer for that mission - \"oh, yes, I'm brave enough to wander into the XXX shop, I won't let it corrupt me, I'm prepared to put the tracts wherever you want only let me at the porn!\"
4/24/2006 7:52:33 PM
1/20/2008 3:58:11 PM