First of all, a large number of 'rapes' are the woman's fault. Here's why.

A) She spent the night drinking and brought a man home/went home with him. Her ASD was telling her that she's not about to have sex, but it might just happen that way and when she gets to a bed, something puts her off. The room is dirty. His cock is small. She realises she's a slut and that this is not how respectable or valuable women behave. It could be any or all of these or something else entirely.

Whatever the reason, she decides she doesn't want to have sex. This is where any responsible adult takes charge of their own fate and makes this known. They state this, get up and leave. She doesn't. Her bad decisions, followed by her inability to speak up, mean that Bobby McBeta has sex with her against her will without being able to know this. She does not struggle. She does not say no. Is he supposed to read her fucking mind?

B) She fucked some guy and regretted it. "Rape!" The End.

C) Actual rape.

As for "when the rapist doesn't see it as rape", bullshit. Rape is a heinous crime, and if you can rape someone and not know about it, then either (A) has occurred, or you're an extremely fucked up sociopath.