ApologetiX #fundie apologetix.com

[ApologetiX are a Christian parody band. These are the lyrics to one of their songs, a parody of the Dire Straits song "Money or Nothing]

"Monkeys For Uncles"

I want my missing links ...

"Now look at them Dodos" – that's the way they view us
They claim that Christians are a dead species
Then they worship – macroevolution
Monkeys for uncles in your history
Now, that ain’t workin' – after we refute it
Then they tell you – that the Bible’s dumb
Maybe then your sister was a ring-tailed lemur
Maybe then a lizard was your mum
They've got to insult us to sway others
Because they're missin' the missin' links
They've got to lose the Originator
They've got to prove these other theories

That little maggot with the earwig and the stinkbug
They're buggies, but listen here
That little maggot could become an X-man
That little maggot needs a billion years
They've got to insult us to sway others
Because they’re missin’ the missin’ links
They've got to use their imaginations
They've got to prove these other theories

Sure they mean well ...
Huh?

They've got to insult us to sway others
Because they’re missin' the missin' links
Get God removed from the situation
They've got to prove these other theories

They should've learned they're playin' with fire
They could get burned, but they get numb
Look at that drama they got from trickin' us with Java Man
Ain't that guy handsome?
And what's up there? What's that?
Why's that annoy us?
There ain't no right and wrong -- we're like the chimpanzees
Oh, that ain't workin' -- macroevolution
Monkeys for uncles in your history

Oh, that ain’t workin' – that’s the way I view it
I beg to differ on your empty theory
That ain’t workin' – that’s no way to prove it
Get your monkeys for uncles in your history
Monkeys for uncles – history
Monkeys for uncles – missing links

I want my, I want my, I want my missing links
I want my, I want my, I want my missing links
Romans 1:21
For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.

37 comments

Confused?

So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!

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