Hans Fiene #fundie thefederalist.com

[Part of an editorial discussing the hastily-canceled funeral of Vanessa Collier]

If you are a person of faith who would like to have a religious funeral in a church, it’s important to consider whether the faith in your heart is compatible with the faith taught within the walls of the building you’ve selected. No matter how beautiful you may find a sanctuary, the people who built that sanctuary and regularly gather in it probably find their doctrine even more beautiful and won’t want to see it sullied by a funeral that insists God has spoken words they believe He didn’t.

So if you want to have a funeral that says God approved of your gay marriage in a church that says God rejects gay marriage, you should probably keep looking for another venue. It shouldn’t be too hard to find one that will prevent your nephew Kaden from threatening to glitter-bomb a Romans 1-confessing pastor 20 minutes into your wake. After all, plenty of churches would love to celebrate the aspects of your life that orthodox Christianity won’t. In fact, this is pretty much the only reason Unitarians exist. So don’t hesitate to give them a call and set things up if that’s the group of believers who believe most similarly to you.

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Confused?

So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!

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