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Parents With Inconvenient Truths about Trans #transphobia pittparents.com

What is it really like to have a trans-identifying child? It’s the worst feeling you can ever imagine. Your child, who you raised and loved, now tells you everything you knew about them is wrong, even when you know you are right. You are the parent, after all, charged with the most important job of your lifetime— raising your child to be a healthy responsible adult. Now you can’t do that. You know in your head this is wrong but everyone around you tells you, you must affirm.

The doctors are atrocious. They have no sympathy for you. You are on the same level as a murderer, likely to cause the death of your fragile child. You will never see such disregard or disrespect as a parent, as you do when you question trans ideology when it comes to your child. Your feelings don’t matter. They no longer carry weight, even though, just the day before you were a respected member of society and in your social circles. You will be told you need to get over it. You’re the problem. You have a daughter now. Accept it, or your child will kill “herself”. And it will be your fault.

Your friends shun you. Your family blames you. You’re lucky if your spouse is on the same page. You have no one. You imagine killing yourself to escape. Meanwhile, your child changes their name at school, and receives the accolades of the school staff.

Parents With Inconvenient Truths about Trans #transphobia pittparents.com

I believe that there are some who genuinely feel that they are the opposite gender. However, I had always imagined that such people were adults when they decided on that path. Now here was my teenager telling me that he wanted to be a girl. And as I began to devour everything I could on the subject I became very disturbed at just how widespread and insidious the gender issue had become and how apparently intelligent, professional people were encouraging it amongst our kids.

We went to my son's doctor to talk over the situation and get advice. He was unsympathetic to my worries. He couldn't discuss my son, he said. Anything they talked about would be confidential; he was over 16 . Basically he could do what he liked was the message I received. We left with a referral to a gender clinic.

When we finally were given an appointment at the clinic (it took several months) my son was immediately affirmed, and called by his preferred pronouns and his new name. I was told that, when asked, he had said that he had been suicidal and had thought of harming himself. I didn’t believe this; I was convinced that he had been coached. Of course, the old chestnut ‘would I rather have a live daughter than a dead son?’ was trotted out, though at that stage I didn’t know that this is a story repeatedly told to parents who question the process.

Parents With Inconvenient Truths about Trans #transphobia pittparents.com

As I sit in my dimly lit living room, surrounded by memories of a past that seem like a distant dream, I can't help but feel the weight of disappointment and betrayal pressing down on me. The silence is suffocating, broken only by the soft ticking of the clock on the wall—a cruel reminder of the passage of time, of the irreversible changes that have torn my family apart.

My mind drifts back to the day when my child, once my pride and joy, revealed their "true identity" as transgender. The shock and disbelief that washed over me were quickly replaced by anger and resentment. How could he abandon the person he was born to be, the person I raised him to be? The thought of my child rejecting his given name, his heritage, fills me with a sense of profound loss, as if a part of me has been ripped away.

But it's not just the loss of the child I thought I knew that weighs heavily on my heart—it's the knowledge that my child has chosen a path that I cannot condone, a path that goes against everything I believe in.